Paraphilic infantilism

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See "Infantilism" for other uses of the term

For sexual feelings experienced during childhood, see Child sexuality

Paraphilic infantilism is a paraphilia characterized by the desire to wear diapers, due to reasons other than medical necessity, and/or be treated as an infant^[1] or toddler. It is also characterized by the carrying out of these desires on a regular basis. Within the community of such diaper wearers, one who engages only in the erotic or sexual aspect of diaper wearing without experiencing any accompanying regression fantasies is known as a diaper lover (or DL). An adult who only engages in the infantilistic play aspect is known as an adult baby (or AB).^[2] An adult who may experience both of these things is referred to as an AB/DL.^[3][4] In 2004, an informal online survey of 80 adult diaper wearers showed that approximately 40% considered themselves strictly DL's, approximately 40% were mixed, and 20% considered themselves strictly AB's. The survey also indicated that there is a significant number of teenagers who engage in this practice. ^[5][6] Findings of the American Psychiatric Association indicate that a majority of infantilists are heterosexual males.^[7]

DL's and AB's differ in self-image and the focus of attention.^[8] Neither includes a sexual preference for children.^[1][8] There is no singular, archetypical behavior for paraphilic infantilism, but a wide range of thought patterns and behaviors. Some fantasize about being free of guilt, responsibility, or control, whereas others might not. Some act indistinguishably from a baby at times, while others practice in a way that would probably not be noticed by passers by on the street. The desires and tastes of paraphilic infantilists vary around common themes of diapers and babyhood.

Paraphilic infantilism contrasted with diaper fetishes

One way to describe paraphilic infantilism is to contrast it with a diaper fetish, and this contrast is most clear in fantasies.^{[citation needed]} Although there is no typical AB/DL fantasy, they often fall within two extremes^[1][8]. One extreme involves the fantasy of being an infant or small child; adorable, sexually innocent, and powerless. The infant fantasy might involve diapers, baby clothes, and toys to help define the infant's role. In the end, the infant might drift off to sleep in a soft crib. The other extreme is the erotic lover. The lover fantasy would focus on diapers as fetish items, sexually charged objects and might also end in orgasm and ejaculation.^{[citation needed]}

Paraphilic infantilism or fetishism might be diagnosed, depending on the focus.^[8] The urges and fantasies caused by diaper fetishes focus on the diapers themselves, while infantilism focuses on becoming a baby.

In practice, the distinction between the two is much narrower; both involve diapers and adults. Those who try to act out the infant fantasy or similar ones are called Adult Babies (ABs). This may involve adult sized diapers and baby clothes, etc.^[9] If their partner is willing, they may engage in mother/baby roleplay. The adult baby may choose not to engage in sex while they are in the baby role, since it isn't babylike. In contrast, diaper fetishes are much more practical. They may involve adding diapers to otherwise ordinary sexual activities.^{[citation needed]} Those who do are called Diaper Lovers (DLs). Neither are adult baby practices exclusive to paraphilic infantilists, nor diaper lover practices exclusive to diaper fetishists. Many AB/DLs describe themselves as 'mostly AB' or 'mostly DL,' based on which they engage in more frequently. Those with urophilia and coprophilia may enjoy similar practices.

To quickly summarize the theoretical differences, adult babies might have paraphilic infantilism,^[1] their interests are self-image or alter-ego focused, and might refrain from sexual activities during adult baby play.^[10] In contrast, diaper lovers might have a diaper fetish,^[8] their interests are directed at a sexual fetish object, and don't inherently involve roleplay. In practice, the differences among AB/DLs are much less well-defined

Other contrasts

Pedophilia

Confusing infantilism with pedophilia is a common misunderstanding.^[11] Pedophilia is a sexual preference for pre-pubescent children.^[12][13] In contrast, infantilists have a desire to be infants themselves, and those with a diaper fetish have a sexual interest in diapers. Generally, they have ordinary heterosexual or homosexual sexual experiences otherwise. Neither paraphilic infantilism nor diaper fetishism include a sexual interest towards children.^[1][8] Inside the AB/DL communities, a sharp distinction is observed. Most AB/DL organizations will expel child molesters.^{[citation needed]}

Other infantilisms

'Paraphilic infantilism' is usually shortened to 'infantilism.' This can lead to some misunderstandings, since 'infantilism' can also mean 'lacking development.' Mental retardation involves never having achieved an average maturity, in contrast to adult babies, who actively set their maturity aside. In turn, psychosexual infantilism referred to those who haven't "matured" through Freud's psychosexual stages into heterosexuality. Psychosexual infantilism includes paraphilic infantilism^[14] as well as other paraphilias and sexual orientations.^[15]

Practical or voluntary use

Those who wear diapers because of incontinence are probably not AB/DLs. While they may wear and use diapers, they aren’t necessarily doing it to express an alternate self-image or indulge a fetish. This also applies to those who use diapers for practical reasons, such as astronauts and scuba divers. Finally, there are some who start wearing diapers as a "new kink."

There are many that wear diapers but are not paraphilic infantilists or diaper fetishists in the strictest sense. Their motivations and underlying mechanisms are different. However, those who share AB/DL interests and practices are generally welcome in the communities, and may sometimes be counted as AB/DLs.

Anaclitism

Diaper fetishes are sometimes mentioned as an example of anaclitism, a desire for things one was exposed to in infancy. Anaclitism is a more general term in one way, as the objects don't necessarily have to be infantile, just things that one would have been exposed to during infancy. Conversely, a person who was not exposed as an infant to diapers, pacifiers, and so on may still choose to adopt these stereotypical symbols of infanthood during paraphilic sex play.

Sissy babies, cross-dressing

A sissy baby is a male AB/DL who mixes gender play with infantilism.^[4] This cross-dressing might involve stereotypical or exaggerated "little girl" clothing, such as frilly panties or dresses. Sissies are not necessarily transsexual in that, while some might be expressing an alter ego that is a baby girl, they might not wish to be an adult woman at other times. Alternatively, some transgender people simply participate in ageplay as their gender identity as a logical extension of their transgender life.

Paraphilic Infantilism in Medicine

Most AB/DLs do not seek psychotherapy.^[2][14] As a result, many published cases are only tangentially related^{[16][17][18][19]} to infantilism and diaper fetishism and should not be confused with the basic paraphilias^[7]. In one published case of extrapolating from too small a sample size, a desire similar to paraphilic infantilism was described as most often occurring in women^[20].

Future extrapolations might not be much more accurate. The American Psychiatric Association included significant distress or impairment for a period of over six months among the diagnostic criteria for paraphilic infantilism.^[8] This does not mean that all AB/DLs will suffer distress or impairment, but that those who don't will be excluded from the APA's study samples.

Causes

Unfortunately, to date there are no known broad-based scientific studies that have yet been made of the most probable causes, incidence and general impact of paraphilic infantilism on society at large. This may be due to both the relative rarity of the condition, and also to the fact that few paraphilic infantilists appear to seek professional mental health counseling^[2][14], and that even fewer appear to require any type of pro-active mental health intervention in dealing with their condition. ^[21]

Lovemap theory

According to sexology researcher, John Money, normally by the age of 8, the human mind will have fully developed its lovemap, which will serve as a sort of a sexual template, on through to the end of one's adult life. This lovemap is "a developmental representation or template in the mind and in the brain depicting the idealized lover and the idealized program of sexual and erotic activity projected in imagery or actually engaged in..."^[22] Money equates all paraphilias with the formation of abnormal lovemaps during the pre-adolescent years. Such abnormal lovemaps can be formed by any number of contributing factors or stressors during this developmental period. ^[23] In the case described by Dr. Pandita-Gunawardena above, he believed that the primary stressor was a certain 6 month long coma that his patient experienced at the age of 6, and the resultant after-care provided by the patient's mother. In a case reported by Gregory Lehne, Lehne postulated that his client's infantilistic lovemap may have been imprinted in his client's mind at the ages of 6 and 7. During this youthful period his patient reported having been disciplined by his mother in a certain clearly inappropriate manner which included being forced to publicly wear a diaper and a girl's dress throughout his neighborhood. ^[24]

Sex Ratio

There is a strong tendency for AB/DLs to be male. Estimates range from 10 to 20^[7] males per female AB/DL.

Practices

Aside from the many things that AB/DLs would like to do, but cannot, there is an extensive list of practices that they might actually engage in. Some common elements and practices are listed here.

Diaper usage

A central practice to AB/DL is wearing a diaper. When wearing diapers, many AB/DLs like to urinate in them, and a smaller number^{[citation needed]} defecate in them. Others do not because they find such practices disgusting, do not enjoy it, do not want to go through the cleanup afterward, or wouldn't be able to without being obvious. Some AB/DLs have difficulty wetting their diapers when they want to, as the result of overtrained bladders or paruresis. Some AB/DLs need to retrain to overcome this. Some others go a step further, and attempt to un-potty-train themselves.

A common compromise between wanting to wear diapers and needing to go about daily life is to wear diapers under normal clothing. When adult babies do so, it is in their everyday mindset, as opposed to an infantile one. A few adult babies wear diapers all the time, and may seek to develop urinary incontinence. The level of enjoyment in wearing diapers all the time is mixed, and it may have lasting effects; some adult babies have found that the enjoyment diminishes rapidly when the need to wear diapers is always present.^{[original research?]} Other AB/DLs enjoy wearing diapers intermittently more than they would enjoy wearing them all the time.

Paraphernalia

While the tastes and collections of individual ABs differ, some items that might be involved include diapers, onesies, blanket sleepers, cribs, playpens, plastic pants, high chairs, baby bottles, pacifiers, baby powder, baby lotion, dollies, and stuffed animals.

See also

• Ageplay
• Diaper fetishism/ Diaper lover
• Erotic lactation
• Lovemap
• Paraphilia
• Sexual fetishism

References

Further reading

• Friday, Nancy (1980). Men in Love: Men's Sexual Fantasies, Delacorate Press. ISBN 0-385-33342-0.
• Allen, Clifford (1969). A Textbook of Psychosexual Disorders. ISBN 0-19-264414-9.
• Love, Brenda (1992). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Barricade Books. ISBN 0-942637-64-X.
• Torkenzy, Ferenc (2002) Furries, Babies, and Other Sexual Perversions, Adions Press ISBN 0-17-324415-9
• Brame, Gloria G., Brame, William D., & Jacobs, Jon (1993). Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission Villard Books ISBN 0-679-40873-8