In psychology, several models have been proposed to explain the process of a relationship breakup. One theory, by L. Lee,[1] proposes that there are five stages why, over time, a relationship "breaks down":
- Discovery of dissatisfaction — when either or both partners become dissatisfied with the relationship
- Exposure — when both partners become aware of the problem/s in the relationship
- Negotiation — when both parties try to negotiate a solution to their problem/s
- Resolution and transformation — when the parties apply the agreed solution
- Termination — if the agreed solution does not work and no further solutions are agreed or tried.
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Recovery
According to John Fetto,[2] a survey conducted by eNation found that nearly one-third of Americans have experienced a breakup in the past ten years. He also found that the younger the person, the more likely they are to have experienced more than one breakup in the last decade. It is believed that this is because young people are more actively dating than older generations, though this may be changing with the growing divorce rate, and thus adults are breaking up more frequently as well. This makes breakups one of the more common emotional experiences in modern society.
Healing from heartache is a long process with multiple steps and stages. Some steps include; allowing adequate time to recover, improving intra personal relationships, and the actual act of 'letting go'. In addition, sometimes the break-up comes as a shock and one can be left to pick up the pieces unexpectedly, making this process even more hectic. Even in situations where the break-up was long overdue or even expected, breaking up and the process of healing afterwards is still an extensive process.
Laurie Helgoe,[3] believes that, “By releasing the past, you can approach new relationships with a fresh perspective and clearer vision”. Releasing the relationship and person physically from one’s life will help to keep both from constantly resurfacing in everyday life. Releasing the relationship and person from the mind and daily thoughts allocates more space to think about other important things including future relationships.
See also
References
- ^ Lee, L. - Sequences in Separation: A Framework for Investigating Endings of the Personal (Romantic) Relationship. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 1984, Vol. 1, No. 1, pp 49-73. DOI: 10.1177/0265407584011004
- ^ Fetto, John (2003) - Love Stinks: Statistics on Failed Relationships. BNet: Business Network Retrieved January 25, 2008
- ^ Helgoe, Laurie A. (2006). The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Breaking Up. New York, NY: Penguin Group.
Further reading
- McGraw, Phil. (2008) - Relationships/Sex: Healing a Broken Heart Retrieved January 25, 2008
- Steadman, Lisa. (2007). It's a Breakup Not a Breakdown. Avon, MA: Polka Dot Press.
External Links
- Relationship Advice, Relationship Advice
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