Penurious but muscle-bound Blake Thorne (famed wrestler turned actor Hulk Hogan) has made a vast fortune marketing health food and health supplements. He once was a nice fellow, but as his wealth increases, he becomes increasingly self-centered and decadent. One day, he gets in a great paint-gun fight that goes too far. Blake escapes the cops by running into a shopping mall, quickly donning a Santa Suit and pretending to be St. Nick. A head injury causes Blake to suffer amnesia, and an opportunistic "elf" decides to convince Blake that he is indeed Santa. This leads "Santa" to help save an orphanage, filled with adorable moppets, from the machinations of a greedy, insane doctor. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide
Review
There was never any possibility that Santa with Muscles would be a good film, but that doesn't mean it has to be as dreadfully dull as it is. The vapid title would seem to be a warning that the creators are not going to expend any more energy or imagination than they are absolutely forced to. There's nothing fresh here, nothing original, nothing to entice the viewer to stay awake. The only thing of any interest is how the film ever actually got made; it's the sort of project that should have been stopped dead in its tracks by any number of executives or sub-executives or even a gofer. Somehow, though, it got the green light, and the result is a film to avoid. Mind you, it's not that Muscles is the absolute worst film ever made; it's not something of Plan 9 from Outer Space dimensions. Instead, it's dull, dreary and enervating, lacking any personality of life. The most that can be said for it is that Hulk Hogan does try, although his acting ability and comedic talents are far too meager to allow his efforts to count for much. Still, he does try, which is more than can be said for director John Murlowski or the trio of screenwriters. 10-year-old boys, especially those who are already Hogan fans, might find enough here to keep them occupied; others should just forget it. ~ Craig Butler, All Movie Guide
Robert Apisa; Robin Curtis - Leslie; Clint Howard - Hinkley; Garrett Morris - Clayton; William Newman; Diane Robin; Kevin West; Adam Wylie - Taylor; Aria Noelle Curzon - Elizabeth; Pierre Dulat; Kai Ephron; Mila Kunis - Sarah; Jennifer Paz - Helen Chu; Steve Valentine; Brenda Song
Credit
Tom McSweeney - Casting, James R. Rosenthal - Co-producer, M. Charles Cuddy - Co-producer, Cathryn Wagner - Costume Designer, David Vincent Rimer - First Assistant Director, John Murlowski - Director, Stephen Myers - Editor, William Marrinson - Editor, Harry Shuster - Executive Producer, Jordan Belfort - Executive Producer, Danny Porush - Executive Producer, Paula F. Major - Line Producer, James Covell - Songwriter, Chuck Connor - Production Designer, Michael Gfelner - Cinematographer, Brian Shuster - Producer, Patrick M. Griffith - Sound/Sound Designer, Jonathan Bond - Screenwriter, Fred Mata - Screenwriter, Dorrie Krum Raymond - Screenwriter
