The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation is a fictional company from
Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's
Guide to the Galaxy.
The Corporation
In the series, the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation is responsible for the design and creation of a wide range of
robots and labour-saving devices, such as lifts,
automatic doors, ventilation systems, the
infamous Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser, and digital
watches (substituted by polyphonic ringtones, palmtops and computer operating systems in the 2005 radio series).
Despite the fact that the "fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws" of everything
they produce, the marketing-driven company will still exist until a revolution in the next
thousand years. When a person asks for a drink from the Nutrimatic Drink
Dispenser, the dispenser probes the customer's taste sensors and pleasure receptors of the brain. Despite its
sophisticated artificial intelligence, it always dispenses the same drink: a concoction that tastes "almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea".
Genuine People Personalities
The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation invented a concept called Genuine People Personalities ("GPP") which imbue their
products with intelligence and emotion. Thus not only do doors open and close, but they thank their users for using them, or sigh
with the satisfaction of a job well done. Other examples of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation's record with sentient technology
include an armada of neurotic elevators, hyperactive ships' computers and perhaps most famously of all, Marvin the Paranoid Android. Marvin is a prototype for
the GPP feature, and his depression and "terrible pain in all the diodes down his left side" are
due to unresolved flaws in his programming. Ironically, the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "your plastic pal
who's fun to be with".
The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy electronic guidebook defined
the Marketing Division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as "A bunch of mindless jerks who will be the first up against the
wall when the revolution comes"....The story notes that in a version of the Encyclopaedia Galactica that fell through a
time warp from 1,000 years in the future, the Marketing Division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation are defined as "A bunch of
mindless jerks who were the first against the Wall when the Revolution came."
The only profitable division of the company is its Complaints division, which, according to the series, takes up all of the
major landmasses on the first three planets in the Sirius Tau system. The theme song for the
Complaints division is Share and Enjoy, and
has since become the theme apparent for the company as a whole. The main office building and headquarters for the company was
originally built to represent this motto, but due to bad architecture it sank into the ground, killing many talented young
complaints associates. The downside to this is that the building now read, in the dialect of the planet it was on, "Go Stick Your
Head in a Pig."
By-products of Designer People
In addition, during the backstory Young Zaphod Plays it Safe, the
corporation designed and produced synthetic personalities to order, but they turned out to be the "By-products of Designer People
- amalgams of characteristics which simply could not co-exist in naturally occurring life forms". Some of these were dangerous as
they did not alarm people to their dangerousness. The starship Billion Year Bunker contained three of these in the hold,
on their way to being blasted out of the universe - but one had escaped to Earth, "the man babbling gently about a shining city
on a hill" (an open reference to Ronald Reagan).
External links
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