The Calzone

"The Calzone"
Seinfeld episode
George at Paisano's italian restaurant.
Episode no.	Season 7 Episode 130
Written by	Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer
Directed by	Andy Ackerman
Original airdate	April 25, 1996
Season 7 episodes
Seinfeld – Season 7 September 1995 – May 1996
"The Engagement" "The Postponement" "The Maestro" "The Wink" "The Hot Tub" "The Soup Nazi" "The Secret Code" "The Pool Guy" "The Sponge" "The Gum" "The Rye" "The Caddy" "The Seven" "The Cadillac, Part 1" "The Cadillac, Part 2" "The Shower Head" "The Doll" "The Friars Club" "The Wig Master" "The Calzone" "The Bottle Deposit, Part 1" "The Bottle Deposit, Part 2" "The Wait Out" "The Invitations"
List of Seinfeld episodes

"The Calzone" is the 130th episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. This was the 20th episode for the 7th season. It aired on April 25, 1996.

Plot

George becomes Steinbrenner's pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Steinbrenner then has George bring him a calzone for lunch everyday. One day, when George throws his money into the tip jar unnoticed, he attempts to grab it to place it back when someone was looking. Just as he is grabbing the money the guy turns and, under the impression that George is stealing money from the jar, refuses to sell him any more calzones. George then recommends to Steinbrenner that they try something new for lunch the next day. Steinbrenner insists that they continue to keep their routine. George makes a deal to obtain the calzones for his boss when Newman brings them to him, as he is coming through on his mail route. Kramer is raving about wearing clothes "straight out of the dryer." Elaine's boyfriend, Todd Gack (John D'Aquino) is dating her without really ever asking her out.

Jerry takes advantage of his girlfriend Nicky's (Dylan Tays) ability to get anything she wants, including convincing a cop to not give Jerry a speeding ticket. Todd Gack sells Jerry some Cuban cigars, but they really turn out to be from Peru. Kramer starts using an oven for his clothing. When Newman decides not to go to work because it is raining, George asks Kramer to get him the calzone to stay in Steinbrenner's good graces. Kramer puts his clothes in the pizza oven at Paisano's, and they get burned. He tries to pay the Calzone seller with pennies and a fight ensues with the seller kicking Kramer out of the restaurant. Kramer goes to George's office and drops his burnt clothes by a vent. The Calzone smell wafts into Steinbrenner's office, and he runs to George's office, thinking he has calzones. George tries to fool Steinbrenner by going to another calzone restaurant. As he comes back, he finds Steinbrenner digging through his office, realizes the smell is from the clothes, and gets the idea to put the Yankees' clothes in a pizza oven.

Jerry and Elaine lose Nicki and Todd to one another, when Nicki sees Todd about the cigars but he winds up weedling another "non-date date" dinner with her. Jerry and Elaine are smoking the Peruvian cigars, which "smell like a rubber fire", when Elaine asks Jerry if he wound up paying for them; Jerry says "It's being taken care of right now" and the scene cuts to Kramer knocking at Todd's apartment door, then tossing him a large, heavy sock full of pennies.

Quotes

• Jerry: Why don't you just have someone else get the calzones?
  George: Because the next thing you know Steinbrenner will be having lunch with him. You know how these interoffice politics work.
  Jerry: No, I've never had a job.

• Jerry: So what's Steinbrenner gonna do if he doesn't get his calzone?
  George (panicked): What's he gonna do? That's exactly the point! Nobody knows what this guy is capable of! He fires people like it's a bodily function!

• George: Shouldn't you be at work by now?
  Newman: Work? It's raining!
  George: So?
  Newman: I called in sick. I don't work in the rain!
  George: You don't work in the rain? You're a mailman! "Neither rain nor sleet nor..." It's the first one!
  Newman: I was never that big on creeds.

• Jerry : I got some Cubans for George's wedding. They were more than I wanted to pay for but what the hell!
  Kramer : Oh yeah baby. [puts cigar in mouth, then spits it out] What are these? "Producto de Peru?" If you think these are Cubans you have another thing coming.
  Jerry: Peru!? I paid $300 bucks for these. I could have bought a house in Peru for $300 bucks!

• Elaine: What kind of a name is Todd Gack anyway?
  Jerry: I think it's Dutch.

Trivia

Danette Tays who plays Jerry's girlfriend Nicki appeared in a 1990s Rold Gold Pretzel commercial with Jason Alexander. She plays a woman named April riding an elevator with Jason who kids him for being overweight by noting that the pretezels "contain a lot less fat, too." Jason replies to the camera, "April. What kind of name is that?! It's a month, not a person!"