The Subject Was Roses (Themes)

Themes

Family Triangle

Over the years, the emotional life of the Cleary family has formed itself into a triangle that functions only to frustrate and disappoint all three members. Love is thwarted or destroyed; good intentions go haywire. The underlying pattern that has created this is the fact that Nettie and Timmy have in the past sided with each other against John. Since love has not been freely exchanged between husband and wife, Nettie has transferred her love into an excessive attachment to her son. She confesses to Timmy late in the play that she was disappointed with John from the beginning; he was never going to make a good family man, although she did not know this when she married him. Left without a channel for her love to flow through, she poured it into their son. John contributed to the triangle by alienating his own son through his frequent absences and his propensity to quarrel with Nettie.

The family triangle is made apparent from the argument that Nettie and John have in the opening scene. It comes out that the previous evening, Nettie was overly concerned when Timmy was sick after drinking too much at the homecoming party, and she held his head. John comments icily, "No one held his head in the army." As John observes, Nettie is jealous because at the party, father and son spent most of the time drinking and paid no attention to her or anyone else. John is resentful of Nettie's jealousy and sarcastically remarks that she and Timmy will have a "charming little breakfast together," since he is going out. This shows that he knows very well that Timmy and Nettie form what he calls (according to Timmy later) "the alliance." A few moments later, after Nettie requests money for new curtains for Timmy's room because Timmy will want to bring friends home, John refers to the alliance as "the old squeeze play."

This has been the pattern that has operated throughout Timmy's boyhood. But Timmy's long absence and new maturity mean that he is no longer content to be under the thumb of his mother, always overindulged and he seems to be willing to develop a better relationship with his father. But Nettie is unwilling to let go. She cannot allow Timmy to grow up and be independent because that would be a threat to her happiness. It would leave her with no one to love and thrust her back into dependence on an unsatisfactory, claustrophobic marriage. The fact that the old pattern is no longer holding is shown in the first scene of the play when there is a dispute over whether Timmy will go with his father to the ball game or visit his disabled cousin, Willis, as Nettie desires. Nettie is used to having control over what Timmy does, and she does not like the fact that father and son are willing to spend time together that excludes her. But his mother's refusal to acknowledge Timmy's independence succeeds only in provoking Timmy and making the situation worse.

Timmy, who is good-natured and loves both his parents, does not know how to react to the tense situation. The strife between his parents has always upset him, although neither parent appears to realize this. Timmy is the only character in the play who grows. This can be seen in act 2, scene 1, in the dispute over going to mass. Nettie sides with Timmy and John says, "Now there's a familiar alliance." After John storms out in anger, Timmy shows an understanding of what his father means, and he tells Nettie that they must stop ganging up on John. Timmy is beginning to see the pattern that has dominated their lives, and he is trying to do something about it. For a while, he blames his mother instead of his father, but then he realizes that no one is really to blame. By the end of the play, he also realizes that the only positive step he can take to ease the situation is to leave home.

TOPICS FOR FURTHER STUDY

• Research the history of the family in U.S. society over the last one hundred years. What are the main changes that have taken place? Are these changes for the better or worse? Explain your viewpoint.
• Describe some of the main differences between a functional family and a dysfunctional one. What kinds of behaviors occur in each?
• Is it better for parents who are always fighting to get divorced or should they stay together for the sake of the children? Are the children better or worse off if their quarreling parents divorce? Explain your viewpoint.
• How are the conflicts between parents and children today similar to and different from those in the play, which takes place in 1946? Why is it often difficult for families to communicate with each other about the issues that divide them?