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Answered 2015-07-15 21:23:36

Don't quote me on this, but unfortunately, I don't believe there is a LEGAL ramification but EMOTIONAL/MENTAL distress to the child definitely. I would think it is a tremendous NO NO in the eyes of the Court, toward the offending party (in other words, the person who tries this). My ex husband tried this in our case - made my son call his new wife "Mommy Gina" (different name used). I put my foot down IMMEDIATELY on that and explained to my child (who was 4) that my child has only one mother and that he was welcome to call the other lady her name, or Ma'am, or whatever, but she was not his mommy. I feel quite strongly about this (obviously) because a child so young, that messes them up and confuses the living daylights out of them. My ex was also calling my son a completely different name than he'd been used to hearing and just royally messing the poor kid up. I have never sugar coated things where my son is concerned because I believe my ex to be an emotional/mental danger to us (just couldn't prove it in court). Regardless of what some of you may think, I personally feel it is in the best interests of my child to NOT have anything to do with my ex until my child is ready. It should not be the Court's decision, in my opinion.

Getting back to the question at hand, however, seems to me you could make a really great point in court by bringing this up, but you unfortunately cannot make it the basis of your complaint. It has to be stronger than that.

My step sons refer to me as ______ _______ to my face. Insert first and middle names because their mother has the same first name, everyone always called me by first and middle to differentiate, but they picked it up. However when they are out with their little friends (they are 6 and 8) they refer to me as their "Mom", I can hear them through the window out in the yard. We have always encouraged them to call me ______ ________. The only time we have related me with MOM is when they go to school and the teacher says, something like "have your mom sign this and bring it back", that they don't mean their mom 800 miles away, they mean me their stepmom. their regular teachers and school staff are also aware that I am not their biological mother. As far as what they choose to say to their friends, I don't see how my husband can be held responsible for that. Also in situations like my own situation with my parents, I don't see the harm in a child refering to the person who raises them 99.9 % of the time as mom, and not the person they see every 5 years or so.

Parenting and ChildrenMy nephew calls his grandmother Mama. He never did get the hang of Grandma as a kid and it stuck. He knows who his mom is and that is what matters. If I asked him if calling his grandmother Mama and his mother Mom confused him he would just take that as more proof of how dumb grown-ups are. :)

Wonderful point you made about your nephew...I believe that children can only benefit by having people around who love them. My former husband has re-married and we encourage the kids to consider each home their home. My youngest son (I have three) tells everyone that he has 5 brothers, 1 sister, 6 dogs and 3 cats...combined families, obviously, but we love it! I have always made sure that my children recognize their (step)mom's birthday, mothers day and holidays and she does the same for me. I realize this may be unusual, and it did take some work at first to overcome some awkwardness and animosity on both our parts, but now we are friends, and we often celebrate holidays together as the extended family that we really are. It's not the name that matters - all children of divorced parents know who their birth parents are - it's the amount of love in the home(s) that makes the difference.

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