Can a man involved in an extramarital affair love both the other woman and his wife?
It's possible, of course. Monogamy was imposed by the society, not by nature. But that's not the real question. What you should ask yourself is whether you're ready to live with it, even if you think you are.
YES! Any human being is capable of giving love to multiple partners. Love is not a limited emotion, and the concept of wanting our partner to only love us comes from our need as children to be loved exclusively by our parents. Although we do grow out of that need, society tells us we must stick to it, that having more than one partner is not love, but cheating.
Love cannot be restricted to just one person, no matter how hard we try. The traditional model of relationships and marriage is failing today because it simply does not work. If society was willing to adopt an attitude of open relationships as being acceptable, think of all the hurt that could be avoided. By letting your partner explore new loves, you are in essence assuring they will come back. Personally, I would rather know where my partner is at 3am and who they're with than wonder if he's 'cheating' on me. An open relationship saved my marriage! It allowed me to keep my longtime best friend and lover while being able to give and receive love, filling the needs my partner no longer could. I love my partner deeply, but I also love my boyfriend deeply. It is not about sex but about connecting with other people and free love. :)