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Sociopathy (Psychopathy)

Can a relationship survive if one is a sociopath but wants to fix himself?

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September 12, 2011 3:07PM

Anything is possible and I've seen stranger things occur. If the

person is dedicated in other areas in their life, more than likely

they can be helped. If they are fighters and think THEY are always

right, won't listen to reason then don't expect any changes anytime

soon. Look at this person and try to see their good qualities and

if you see that they are good in other areas of their lives and you

love this person, promise yourself 4 - 6 months with that person

and if you don't see changes (aren't even made part of it with the

psychiatrist/psychologist) then it's time to move on.

"Change" is inevitable in this world and it can either make

things better or worse for all of us. The guilt of "change" being

laid upon us if we let it, is always being afraid of "change" and

not looking forward into the future. When we win through change we

have won much, but when we lose through change we not only win, but

learn great lessons to carry on the torch for better changes in the

future, while learning lessons that strengthen our characters.

Good luckHave a good weekendMarcy

"Answer" id="Answer">Answer

The only problem I have with your question is the wording. He WANTS

to fix himself or he IS fixing himself?

The relationship can survive IF he actually takes the steps to

get help and maintain the treatment. This will not be easy on him

but it's well worth it if it saves the relationship.

Mere promises, especially from a sociopath, mean next to



Sociopaths are the way they are because, from birth onward, the

brainof a sociopath stores learning information in a random,

chaotic wayinstead of in the usual designated places in the

cerebral cortex. Partof this involves lack of crucial

neurotransmitters, but as of yet noone knows whether this lack is

caused BY the brain abnormality or is the cause OF it. It's

probably the former.

Since their information -- including emotional information --

isscattered all over both brain hemispheres, it takes too long for

thebrain to retrieve and process information, and the entire

process ofsocialization becomes so ponderous that ultimately it

fails. (See thebook "Without Conscience" by Robert Hare, PhD.)

Since the entire cerebral cortex of a sociopath is almost never

ata normal level of alertness (their waking brain waves resemble

thewaves of a normal person in a light sleep, alpha waves), this

may bethe crucial deficiency that cripples the developing child's

ability todevelop many aspects of the human mind. As the child

grows, some of thebasic mental and emotional skills the rest of the

world takes so forgranted never develop, and crucial among these is

the thing calledconscience. That one never develops at all.

Some people may envy the apparent calm of a sociopath, but

theirexistence is misery. They cannot connect with other human

beings, andas babies they are so uncomfortable being held that they

fight towriggle free of all but the most basic necessary contact.

Theirheartbroken parents often blame themselves or the child, never

knowingthat what is really wrong with the child is in his or her


Under the almost somnolent calm sociopaths project is a

constantsense of restlessness and lack of fulfillment that is

nothing other than thebasic need all people have to receive

stimulation and support fromothers. But a sociopath has no way of

receiving this even if it'soffered. The endless frustration of

this, and a discomfort that theyare utterly incapable of

articulating or even really understanding, is the source of much of

their chronic anger and aggression.

Plus, since they grow up in constant conflict with authority,

theyare most often bitterly angry and sometimes violent adults,

brittle andcombatative under a thin veneer of charm. Offered

friendship, theyappear to respond, but quickly discover that they

can get nothing fromit; they see the obvious pleasure of other

people in such contact witheach other, and they often seek to "even

it up" by stealing what theycan -- material goods, or even human

lives. They are constantly toldhow "bad" they are, and by

adulthood, most of them believe it. Andbehave accordingly.

Sociopaths rarely feel true happiness. If they do, it is usually

inthe condition that some kind of intervention -- such as one of

thesmall number of medications made for other conditions that may

alsohelp somewhat with theirs -- has taken place, and it will be

fleeting.For all their frantic racing around, they are really very

dead inside,and this is tragic beyond description. Imagine spending

your entirelife trying to get your brain to wake up! And failing.

Thousands oftimes.

There are stories of people diagnosed as sociopaths who did

improveto some degree, with the most ceaseless and diligent help.

But sincethe vast majority of this huge body of people (there are

more thanthree hundred million sociopaths on Earth) cannot get that

kind ofattention, they turn to abusing those they envy, and often

to crime. Itis certainly vengeance: "If I can't have any of this,

why should you?"This is the real reason sociopaths lash out at

strong and kind people.No matter what they say, they know that

inside, they are always emptyand damaged beyond repair.

Only in neuroscience is there hope for these incomplete people.

Thekey lies in awakening the brain, which is risky because

sociopaths aremuch more prone to seizures than the rest of the

population, and that-- an uncontrolled blast of electrical

discharge spreading through thebrain and causing violent

convulsions -- is likely to be the firstresponse from brain

pathways that, after years or even decades ofsilence, are suddenly

flooded with impulses. But if the devices ofneurosurgeons can be

tweaked to avoid this shock, and all else relatedto this idea is

workable, it's feasible that small electronic devicesplanted in the

brain (these already exist, but are not yet being usedfor mental

illness) could open up a closed connection.

That leaves us with the problem of whether a lifetime of

scatteredinformation can ever be set into order. Probably the best

that could behoped for would be a kind of retraining -- like what

is now done withstroke survivors and head injury patients -- that

would be bothintensive and compensatory.

One of the things that would be necessary would be to try to

socializethe person whose congenital birth defect made such a thing

completelyimpossible before. Whatever intervention is used, be it

drugs orcomputer chips or what have you, it would probably -- I'd

say certainly-- be excruciating for the patient at first. With no

knowledge of howto cope with the emotions the rest of the world has

been dealing withall their lives, the recovering sociopath would be

rendered asvulnerable as a baby. Which makes sense, because some of

the most basicaspects of the human mind would be developing from

the primordialstasis in which they had remained since birth!

A person thus treated would never be fully normal, but the

humanbrain is amazing in the way it adapts and continues to develop

allthrough life. And given the utterly joyless and meaningless

existence asociopath leads, any improvement is better than


The matter of missing neurotransmitters in a sociopath is,

ofcourse, another problem. Would "waking up" the cerebral

cortexeventually stimulate production of these? Or would they have

to besynthesized? Only time will tell.

In any case, the desire to get well on the part of the man in

the question -- assuming it is genuine -- is a rare but gradually

increasing trend: when there are actually concrete solutions, or at

least (at this point) partial solutions, the miserable existences

of sociopaths may be mitigated. It's hard to trust, but dying

terribly young -- or living in isolation while everyone around him

(or her) seems to be having a wonderful life (which of course not

everyone is, but it may well seem that way to the sociopath) --

aren't the only options any more...and although very, very few

sociopaths can see that right now, it's not unheard of, not

impossible, and not going to be the only way out once neurologists

and neurosurgeons figure out how exactly to wake up those sleeping

segments of the brain of the true psychopath (sociopath).

It's not a matter of "if," but "when".

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