The problem is, you can seldom get them to counseling. They are in denial and feel the way they think and feel is the right way and everyone else is wrong. They are such controllers of the environment around them they can't stand the thought of someone taking that control away from them because in their minds, that their "safe place." To me a physical abuser is like a loaded gun ... you can clean it and it works fine for a few uses, but one day, you can try it out and it'll blow your hand off in seconds. Abusers are always time bombs and few ever seek out counseling and if they manage to go, few ever change.AnswerUsually not. They will actually probably try and you the counselling as another way to control you while looking like the good guy. He may speak the language of improving himself. He may talk about feelings. In reality hes found another outlet to manipulate and con you. Dont buy into the counselling ploy. Kick his sorry but out on the street and if he comes back in a year you will know he really loved you and you will be able to tell if hes really changed. But don't count on it. Abusers get too much satisfaction to change.
Answer Sometimes they can and sometimes they can't. Unless they is some mental illness going on, people can change if they want to. Certainly a mental abuser who is not mentally ill will figure it out when he or she gets enough negative feedback/responses from others. Usually when someone is a mental abuser they need professional counseling to correct the problem. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If the person thinks what he or she is doing is okay or they get some kind of sick enjoyment, power trip from it they may not WANT to change.
There are a very few that might fall through the cracks, but it's rare. Abusers love what they do because they love the control they have. They are basically grown up bullies! So, there is no way they are apt to go for counseling to straighten themselves out, because an abuser doesn't like taking orders from ANYONE! Marcy
Absolutely. Of course, not all abusers will or can change. Be careful not to revel in what may be a false hope. Dealing with issues in childhood which may have made the abuser abusive will be very helpful, but could also be traumatic for the abuser. The abuser often has trouble dealing with emotions, and so could become aggressive and violent throughout this part of counseling.
The best way would be with counseling and if you cannot afford counseling for them or the abuser then contact Child Protective services for your area and they will provide counseling if you qualify. If the abuse is causing injury to anyone then contact your local law enforcement and they will intervene.
It exist because the person being hurt stays in the relationship thinking the abuser will stop. Face reality this person has issues and they will not just up and change. I would advise anyone who is in an abusive relationship whether physical,emotional or verbal get out while you still can, because the abuser is not going to change magically.
Well, it depends what you want to stop them from doing. If you want them to stop manipulating, than they have to be prepared to change and take lots of counseling. Of course, counseling is not enough on its own. The manipulator must be willing to take the class seriously, and not try to simply manipulate the counselor. It can be difficult to tell what the abuser is doing, and stopping them is sometimes impossible. Do not get your hopes up over the dream to save an abuser from himself. Too many people have already been hurt trying to do the same thing.
No matter whether you expose it or not, he will probably abuse his next victim anyway. An abuser finds it difficult to imagine not abusing another, as their abuse reassures them of their control. Abusers feel a need to exert control in order to compensate for a childhood which they had no control over. In some ways, we should pity them; but they cannot all be helped. An abuser can only change if they have the desire to change, and are prepared to face some very harsh realizations. Counseling is good for this, but not all counselors are prepared. The abuser will have to find one that suits him.
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