Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

Can an abuser change by going to counseling?

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2011-09-12 14:55:13
2011-09-12 14:55:13

The problem is, you can seldom get them to counseling. They are in denial and feel the way they think and feel is the right way and everyone else is wrong. They are such controllers of the environment around them they can't stand the thought of someone taking that control away from them because in their minds, that their "safe place." To me a physical abuser is like a loaded gun ... you can clean it and it works fine for a few uses, but one day, you can try it out and it'll blow your hand off in seconds. Abusers are always time bombs and few ever seek out counseling and if they manage to go, few ever change.

AnswerUsually not. They will actually probably try and you the counselling as another way to control you while looking like the good guy. He may speak the language of improving himself. He may talk about feelings. In reality hes found another outlet to manipulate and con you. Dont buy into the counselling ploy. Kick his sorry but out on the street and if he comes back in a year you will know he really loved you and you will be able to tell if hes really changed. But don't count on it. Abusers get too much satisfaction to change.
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Get them to INDIVIDUAL counseling. They have to ADMIT They have a problem, too.

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yES; There is nothing you cannot cure yourself of when you ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. A man or woman CAN CHANGE with counseling, a lot of self discipline, and CONSTANT WORK. Yes, men AND women, with help and counseling, CAN remarry and correct themselves.

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Answer Sometimes they can and sometimes they can't. Unless they is some mental illness going on, people can change if they want to. Certainly a mental abuser who is not mentally ill will figure it out when he or she gets enough negative feedback/responses from others. Usually when someone is a mental abuser they need professional counseling to correct the problem. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If the person thinks what he or she is doing is okay or they get some kind of sick enjoyment, power trip from it they may not WANT to change.

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Your best action is to leave him. He's not going to change. Seek legal advice and get away.

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Both of you are abusive to each other. You need counseling. Family counseling and anger management counseling.

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First assess risk of the violence. Seek counseling help and talk to the abuser.

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go to counciling

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There are free services offered at many churchs and I have heard being on whats called a sliding scale. In other words, on ones ability to pay. The main concern is the abuser get help and get it fast. Like NOW!!

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Often the best thing to do with a drug abuser is an intervention where those that love him or her tell them how the addiction is affecting them. Counseling or halfway houses are an option as well.

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There are a very few that might fall through the cracks, but it's rare. Abusers love what they do because they love the control they have. They are basically grown up bullies! So, there is no way they are apt to go for counseling to straighten themselves out, because an abuser doesn't like taking orders from ANYONE! Marcy

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Get into batterer counseling (even if its verbal/ emotional abuse) ASAP (NO Anger Management - that does NOTHING for abusers)

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No, you should never tell an abuser you love them and if you think you love them then you need psychological counseling because abusing a person is not about love. You don't hurt the ones you love! Get out of this relationship while you still can!

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Absolutely. Of course, not all abusers will or can change. Be careful not to revel in what may be a false hope. Dealing with issues in childhood which may have made the abuser abusive will be very helpful, but could also be traumatic for the abuser. The abuser often has trouble dealing with emotions, and so could become aggressive and violent throughout this part of counseling.

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The best way would be with counseling and if you cannot afford counseling for them or the abuser then contact Child Protective services for your area and they will provide counseling if you qualify. If the abuse is causing injury to anyone then contact your local law enforcement and they will intervene.

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Frank William Wilson has written: 'Counselling the drug abuser' -- subject(s): Counseling, Drug abuse, Drug addicts, Pastoral counseling, Rehabilitation, Treatment

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It exist because the person being hurt stays in the relationship thinking the abuser will stop. Face reality this person has issues and they will not just up and change. I would advise anyone who is in an abusive relationship whether physical,emotional or verbal get out while you still can, because the abuser is not going to change magically.

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Well, it depends what you want to stop them from doing. If you want them to stop manipulating, than they have to be prepared to change and take lots of counseling. Of course, counseling is not enough on its own. The manipulator must be willing to take the class seriously, and not try to simply manipulate the counselor. It can be difficult to tell what the abuser is doing, and stopping them is sometimes impossible. Do not get your hopes up over the dream to save an abuser from himself. Too many people have already been hurt trying to do the same thing.

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No matter whether you expose it or not, he will probably abuse his next victim anyway. An abuser finds it difficult to imagine not abusing another, as their abuse reassures them of their control. Abusers feel a need to exert control in order to compensate for a childhood which they had no control over. In some ways, we should pity them; but they cannot all be helped. An abuser can only change if they have the desire to change, and are prepared to face some very harsh realizations. Counseling is good for this, but not all counselors are prepared. The abuser will have to find one that suits him.

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Only if the abuser wants to be helped and commits to a minimum of one year of BATTERER Counseling. (Anger Management is useless for abusers.)

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Animal Abuser or Animal Cruelty Abuser

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not from my experience she just keeps on going.......

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* Unfortunately yes, sibling abuse can lead to such anger the abuser could beat the person to death or, sometimes it can lead to murder. The victim of the abuser will not likely go mad, but will certainly need psychological counseling to get over the trauma.


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