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Answered 2015-07-15 21:30:42

Just wanted to let you know that this, too, will pass. My own daughter, now 11 years old, used to do all of the things you've mentioned. She drove us all crazy. We eventually took her to a counselor but, honestly, it seems like she just outgrew the negative behavior when it no longer worked for her. My daughter had two speeds: Fast and Faster. Sure she slept at times, but never through the night (she still doesn't sleep well). When awake, she raced through life and hated anything that interfered. She did the head-banging thing (which is why we finally resorted to the counselor), held her breath until she passed out, cried or screamed until she threw up. I know how frustrated you must be, especially if you have other children since this one seems to run your life. Here's some advice: Be calm (easier said than done) Be a parrot (the answer doesn't change- Just repeat it in the same unconcerned tone as often as possible) Remove dangerous objects from the time-out area (the living room sofa worked well if I could take it, but the den sofa was better if I was fed up and couldn't stand hearing the screaming) Walk away (she really is testing the limits of who is in charge. You have to be.) You do not have to be rigid in your discipline, but you do need to be in charge. As long as she's in a safe place, let her stew. As soon as possible, go in and give her a hug and tell her you love her. You could even ask her if she's done and is ready to play. At her current age, that's it, no more discussion. As she gets older, you get to add the "talk" where you ask how she might have handled things better and the two of you troubleshoot possibilities. My daughter and I did a lot of positive role playing in this stage, but not until she could understand what had even happened, maybe around 3 years old. Until then, give her lots of room and time to play actively, run around outside, and don't expect her to sit still. She is strong-willed, and she has an active and demanding personality, all traits that will lead her to become a successful adult, as long as you guide her along the right path by keeping control. You are always in charge. You cannot make her obey. After all, you do not have control of her body. Only she can decide what she will do. You can only set the limit and help her to accept it when she is able. In the meantime, keep her safe. Crying and throwing up will not harm her. Reacting calmly and matter-of-factly (even quietly) means she doesn't get rewarded for it and begins to phase it out when it doesn't work fo rher anymore. The head banging is another story. I'd think that if it's not actually hurting her, it's an anger/attention tactic and you could ignore it. But if she hits hard and is actually acting like she's hurting herself, consult your pediatrician for how to keep her safe. Good luck. My guess is that she's the strong-willed type who turn out to be the biggest successes. Think about how committed she is to her ideas, wants, activities at only 17 months and imagine how committed and energetic she'll need to remain in order to become the president of some Fortune 500 company or the first woman president of the U.S.

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