Asked in CheatingMarriage
Do married men ever regret having an affair when their wives find out and go straight for a divorce because of their deceit?
August 08, 2010 2:55AM
They regret that they got caught, not that they had the affair.
Very often, the affairs of married men stem from their desire to prove to themselves that they are powerful. It is part of the genetic build of the men. Women on the other hand often have affairs because of love or desire to feel more loved.
Dr. Phil says "the biggest predictor of future behavior is past behavior". This is very true. Science has shown that men who have affairs usually feel younger and stronger because the testosterone levels, the endorphine and the serotonin levels increase. It is very very hard, biologically, to move away from these happiness-causing hormones and settle back into a long term process of boring marriage life, no matter what the husband claims. On the other hand, women whose affairs are discovered feel more hurt and more embarrassed. However they remain hooked on the endorphine and the serotonin just like men. Most often these women do not lose the love they had for the newcomer in their life and will dream of the love of the person they once enjoyed during the affair. An important distinction becomes apparent: men enjoy the power and control and the rush of adrenaline that comes from cheating and infidelity. They are more prone to have more affairs. Women remain hooked on the object of their love and are more prone to try and go back to the same third person, if given the opportunity.