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Answered 2007-01-11 20:38:25

If you mean a feeling of freedom then perhaps a little at the beginning, but then all sorts of emotions run through the victim's mind. Was it their fault? Were they good enough or are they all the things the narcissist accused them of? Are they incapable of having a loving relationship? Did they cause the split-up? It's a time for grieving and healing. The Narcissist is just another form of abuse and they are great at playing head games and when an environment for a length of time with the behavior of the Narcissist it's easy to second-guess yourself. When in doubt remember ... when someone is always calling you names, putting you down, never happy to see you get ahead or doesn't put you right up there with themselves THEY are the ones that were At Fault! =answer= Ah yes, a heavenly beginning! I think I know what you mean. I can't speak for everyone, but I know it was like this for me. Mine was SO charming and romantic and sexy and seemed completely smitten with me...It still makes me cry when I think about it. There were red flags even in the beginning, but they were overshadowed by all the attention he gave me. I realize this now. He was a tad possesive, had a bit of a temper, wanted to know all my whereabouts and who I was with. It seemed innocent at first, even flattering! It slowly increased in intensity until it was extremely upsetting and tiring. I kept waiting for the good times to return, and they would for awhile, but soon the trouble would start again. In the end there was more trouble than good. I was already hooked, you see and it took a lot of strength to leave. He recently moved across the country after we had been separated for 5 months. Good riddance! I will never regret my decision to leave. I still remember the terrible turmoil to think I couldn't leave and I couldn't stay either.The anxiety nearly did me in. I had to really pull myself up by my bootstraps! I am still learning to be wary, I've had a couple of trial runs since then with other men. I will be on the look out for the red flags. I believe thet are probably there from the beginning, but these guys are good! It may be hard to catch all of them all of the time. Good luck! Yes, I was referring to the beginning of the relationship when everything seems absolutely perfect. That has been the most difficult part - to have lost that. Thanks also to the other poster - that response was helpful too. The second poster explained a similar experience to mine. That anxiety of 'can't stay, can't leave' was overwhelming. I was caught in that trap for a long time. I know how 'much' strength it took to leave (congratulations). It was the most difficult thing I have 'ever' done. The red flags in the beginning were indeed overshadowed by his romance, intense attention, adoration, and seduction. One of his strategies was to tell me how gorgeous I was when we were in the middle of a fight/disagreement. This served to distract me away from what was 'really' going on. Toward the end, this no longer worked. I saw through it. I just wondered if this is the common experience - to have the "perfect partner" only to have it turn into chaos. ~AlwaysLearning I'm the first poster and thanks ladies for teaching me a few things. "Alwayslearning" is sure a true statement and I've learned much off this board! Good for both of you for getting out of that hell.

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