yes that's why they use violence to try to keep people in the relationship. but they will move on to the next person and the next and the next. Abusing them all. Most of us detest abusers (stronger sex against the weaker) but women can be abusive towards their boyfriends or husbands as well and most of it is never reported because the male is too embarrassed or feels no one would understand or care. There is help for men as well when it comes to an abusive mate. Since abusers are usually considered lower than a snake's belly we often forget (and most of us don't care) that they are in a mental hell and are like a runaway locomotive and can't stop hurting the one's they love. Yes, they do love and we've often heard the saying, "You always hurt the ones you love" is very true. They do actually feel sorry for beating up their mate that they love, but can't stop. These individuals are frustrated, detest their peers, feel they have been slighted in society and deserve more and they take their frustrations out on their mate. Can they change? In most cases no because the abuser will seldom feel they need counseling and therefore never learn the tools to control their aspect of controlling others.