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The abuser may or may not mean it. It is not possible to tell in the abstract without knowing the individuals concerned. I would add that there is often a difference between being ashamed and feeling guilty . Shame often produces a kind of self-loathing, something that is non constructive. A sense of guilt, by which I mean feeling bad about an action, can lead to remorse and the kind of counselling (or treatment) that will stop the abuse. (Obviously, what really matters is the abuser's fundamental attitude, not whether he/she uses the word shame (or ashamed) rather then guilt.

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Q: Does an abuser mean it when he admits to being ashamed of his behavior?
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