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Does an abuser need to be forced into an abuse programs for the sake of their victim?
Wiki User
∙ 16y ago
Just break free and leave him. Once an abuser always and abuser. From me (a man) to you a woman. Depending on the severity of the abuse, yes, they can be forced into counseling for their abusive ways, but the problem is, "you can lead a horse to water, but not make them drink." The stats aren't very high on curing men with abusive behavior and it's not that they can't be helped, but many men feel that it's weak to seek counseling for this and they are in a denial mode and feel their way of treating those around them is normal, and it's everyone else that is wrong. The best thing to do if you or anyone else you know is in a bad abusive relationship is to leave the person and never look back. I was married to a mentally/physically abusive man and I left, got my own apartment, new job and new friends. No, it wasn't easy because he harassed me on occasion, but I stood my ground and reported him to the police. Good luck Marcy
Wiki User
∙ 16y ago
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What makes people vulnerable to abuse and the power relationship between the abuser and the victim?
the abuser is called sadist & the victim is called masochist.
If your an emotional abuser what causes them to leave?
the victim or the abuser? emotional abuse cuts deeper than physical abuse. it has to do with manipulation. though emotional abuse and physical abuse ususally go hand in hand.
Should a victim who has been researching abuse demand to be treated with respect by their abuser in exchange for stopping their research?
No. And you can't bribe someone to treat you well. Either the person is going to respect you or they aren't. You can't say, "Tell you what, treat me well and I'll stop researching abuse." If you're the victim, you have no leverage. The abuser has all the control. The victim is usually not in the position to be making deals and demands. The only thing that will stop the abuse is getting away from the abuser. ~ T
Explain how God forgives a sexual abuser who stop but was once a victim?
if the abuser is genuinely sorry for what he has done, admitted his wrong to both the victim and to god and has taken genuine steps to repent.however, if the abuser was once a victim, in y opinion, it makes the situation worse, as the abuser should be fully aware of the dammge he/she has done.I was violently raped, but i have no desire to abuse another human being.
Abuse and harm effects on individuals?
Abuse definitely has a strong effect on the victim. The pain that the individual receives from the abuser, whether physical or mental, has a negative influence on the way the victim lives his or her life. With physical abuse, the physical abilities of the victim may be impaired for a temporary or permanent time span. With mental abuse, the victim may suffer from depression because of the abuse he or she has been forced to deal with. Also, the victim may have low self esteem because the individual believes that he or she is being abused because of his or her worthlessness.
What happens if the victim does not show up to a domestic violence case in New York?
The court will record the fact the victim did not turn up for a domestic violence case and it will be up to the victim's lawyer to decide what is next. Sometimes the victim of abuse feels threatened by her abuser or has been threatened to drop the case against the abuser.
How can a victim leave an abuser with no money?
* Most victims of abuse just want to leave with the clothes on their back and are not worried about leaving their abuser penniless. The abuser has taken everything from their victim ... their dignity; peace of mind; brain washed them into believing no other man would want them and they are useless and will never make it out in the world on their own; alienated them from their family and friends and controlled all money issues in the relationship. If there are children involved then the best you can hope for is child support and that would have to go through the courts. Victims of abuse generally want no part of their abuser and will do anything to stay completely away. The victim should seek help from Women's Abuse Centers to find a 'safe place' until they can get on their feet. These centers give moral support; programs about victims of abuse; go to court with them; help with any children the victim may have and help them find a job. If you are smart you'll head out the door and never look back and not look for revenge because the abuser always loses in the end ... they hang themselves with their own rope.
Why do abuse books suggest that the victim get counseling to deal with the abuse when it is obvious that the victim will never be truly happy until the abuser is out of their life?
Most books tell you to leave the abuser and then get the counseling. That's what Abused Women's Centers are for. They not only give the victim a safe place to stay, but help them get on their feet by going to court (if need be re their abuser) fight for custody of their children, and help them find a job. In payment for this they expect the victim to do their part by learning about the Cycle of Abuse and also taking their programs so the victim will not go back to her abuser or, will not choose another abusive mate. These groups are wonderful because it puts the victim in a group of other abused women and they don't feel so alone in their plight. One can read all the books they want, but I call it "arm chair psychiatry" and the victim has to be serious enough to really want to get out of the relationship and thus, "The Abused Women's Centers." Marcy Sometimes abuse has left the victim's self-esteem in such a bad state that the victim has no courage or energy left anymore to leave or to make any other important decisions. As abuse is all about control, it's important that the victim starts to feel in control and empowered. Leaving the abuser must be her decision, no-one else's. For many victims, leaving also means financial hardship, divorce and custody proceedings etc. It is not easy to leave, and the victim will certainly need all her courage to end the cycle.
Why do some abuse victims' love turn to hate after relationships end and is it possible they will love the abuser again?
The love turns to hate because the reality of what the abuser did sets in. Speaking as a victim of abuse, I don't think I could ever love my abuser again even if he said he's "changed" because of the reality of what he did to me, and the claims that he "changed" so many previous times during the abuse.
What role does fear play in abusive relationships?
The abuser of the victim will first alienate the victim from their family and friends and can even move to another town in some cases. An abuser is sly as a fox and at first often can win over not only the victim with kindness and generosity, but also win over family and friends. However, there are many cases where family and friends can often see right through the abuser even before he segregates his victim. Once the two are alone the changes can come quickly such as verbal abuse (the abuser is inwardly unhappy about their own failures in life and will transfer this onto the victim) and then the physical abuse often comes next. Sometimes the abuser will never apologize to his victim, but many do and continue to promise that they will never do it again, but they do. The abuser is aware they have total control over their victim and if the victim shows any sign of independence or that they are going to leave the relationship this is when the real fear starts because the abuser will instill the fear of either killing their victim; their family or, if there are children the abuser may threaten to harm the children or have the victim believe she will never get her children as she is an unfit mother. The victim is basically brainwashed; lost all confidence in themselves; has been alienated from her family and friends and has nowhere to turn. The fear is real and the threats from the abuser are often real as well.
Explain why both adults and children keep child abuse a secret?
There are many different reasons that children and adults remain silent about the "secret" of abuse, including: - scared that the abuser will hurt or fatally injure them - fear that the abuser will hurt or fatally injure a love one - embarrassment - the abuser convinced the victim that "no one will believe you" - the abuser convinced the victim that "you wanted it as much as I did" - the abuser uses bribes or any form of "currency" that the child needs or wants including attention, money, gifts, or special treats - the victim starts to believe he/she did "want it" simply because he/she wanted the items the abuser promised - just want to pretend it never happened - don't know it's abuse - the lack of words to define or describe what happed - the abuse occurred at night so that the incidents become clouded "as if a dream" - the victim dissociates so there is a wall between "now" and what occurred "before now", even during the abuse - the victim suffers from Stockholm's syndrom (start to have feeling for the abuser and will sympathised with the abuser) Parents who do nothing after being told by a child about abuse often do not tell anyone because: - the parent is the abuser in many cases OR.... - the parent/s do not understand the danger of abuse, even if they have another child in the home - the abuser is the mother's boyfriend so the mother chooses her boyfriend over the child - the abuser is the mother's boyfriend and the mother cannot get away from him - the abuser is the father who also commits domestic violence--the mother feels she cannot safely leave and take her children with her - the abuser is the spouse or boyfriend who has threatened the mother as well as the kids and the victim - the parent fears involvement of child welfare - the parent was also an abused child so he or she thinks "I got through it, so can you" - the parent feels powerless - the parent is in denial - the parent has a mental illness and is ineffective at protecting a child - the abuser is the parent's workplace boss and the parent needs the job so therefore chooses not to tell the authorities OR.... Both parents or the mother and a live-in boyfriend commit the abuse together against the child.
Could sibling abuse lead to sibling madness?
* Unfortunately yes, sibling abuse can lead to such anger the abuser could beat the person to death or, sometimes it can lead to murder. The victim of the abuser will not likely go mad, but will certainly need psychological counseling to get over the trauma.
