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Yes it can. Sometimes our expectations are too high and we think the magic we feel from the first time we date and start our relationship will last forever. Well it doesn't. There are several stages in a good marriage. You meet and fall in love and you think you're walking on air. You can hardly wait to see the person. If lucky you agree to marry and start making plans and share your hopes and dreams for the future. What we must realize during this period of time is some of the hopes and dreams will happen, but not all. You are married, you settle in and for the first couple of years all seems to go well. You may both work, may make good money and have fun. Then it's time to start a family. Manuals don't come with raising children so people can tell you how wonderful it is and some of the pitfalls, but one has to really experience it. When you and your husband see that wee babe for the first time something magical comes over the parents. It's a loving bond for them and they have created a living human being between the two of them and that's a great expression of love. They want to protect that little baby and swear upon each other's heads that they will raise that child 100%. This is well-wishing and parents simple do make mistakes raising there children, but most thankfully are good parents. You have that first baby and the mother usually stays home with the baby. Most first-time mothers are nervous, edgy and SOME may suffer from post partum blues (hormone dips that can cause a woman to feel depressed and anxious.) If lucky you husband will help you out and if he doesn't then you have to light a fire to get him started so he can take half the responsibility of raising the baby and that means getting up at all hours of the night and pacing around the room with a crying baby, feeding and also changing dirty diapers. The magic will soon go out like blowing out a candle at this stage and the mother is tired, tries to get her housework done (or perhaps is trying to work from home or catching up on classes at college by computer) and finds little time for herself. She may crave wanting to see adult friends and feels all alone taking care of the baby. It's a big adjustment, but it can be done with the understanding and willingness of the husband. The husband should give his wife time away to be with her friends every so often and there is no reason he can't babysit. Usually other children come along and by then the mother is more use to raising children, but, it's still a hectic life. Finding a good Day Care if she wants to go back to work and also being there when your child is sick, taking them to doctors, pre-school, etc. It's all worth it if both participate in rearing the children. Before you know it the children are gone and on their own and mother's will often feel that "empty nest syndrome" and is in the stage of her life she would like sometime to herself and perhaps go back to college or go back to work. This is also the time for husband and wife to make plans to go on small or large vacations (whatever a person can afford) and having the freedom to visit friends and have some fun. Before the parents know it grandchildren start coming into their lives and usually the husband and wife are quite over-joyed to participate in the grandchildren's lives, but, if smart, they also take time out for themselves and not be constant baby-sitters. A woman can go through her peri menopause and also menopause (stopping of periods) and can be cranky, edgy, have hot flashes, night sweats, but there is help out there. There may be a slight parting of the ways between husband and wife during this time, but if the wife is smart she'll educate her husband about what she is going through. Men also go through male menopause and some men can be grouchy, have hot flashes, gain weight and both can certainly feel like they are getting old far too fast. They have regrets as to things they could or should have done and mistakes they have made, but the smart husband and wife will also get over this as well. This is a time when the couple still really love each other and it's a comfortable kind of love. It should be a feeling of knowing each other well and trusting each other and spicing things up with some fun in their lives and no, sex doesn't end at this age. I have been married to my husband for 34 years and we love each other a great deal. We've been through a lot together in those 34 years and we know we can count on each other 100% and because of this strength and bond we have we love each other with comfort and also passionately. Yes, the years have left us with a few gray hairs, a few wrinkles, but when we look at each other we see each other as we did when we were in our 20s. I really wanted to explain these phases of life to you, because the question you asked couldn't be answered in a simple way. Some people are lucky and end up together for the rest of their lives, but sometimes, people want more or they feel neglected so divorce is high and cheating is too. It all depends on the couple. It's easy to give up, hard to stay at times, but sure worth it in most cases. Marcy

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โˆ™ 2006-04-07 08:58:12
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