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Good for you getting rid of this guy! It took guts to do that. First off you should change your phone number or at least get "call display" so you can see if it's him calling and if it is, don't pick up the phone. It's obvious you have been talking to him and you must realize that every time you listen to him or talk to him (no matter what you say to him) that's giving him back control and he's pushing your buttons. I volunteer for the "Abused Women's Center" and I am hoping you will make an appointment and go speak with a counselor. They are use to dealing with abusive men and can help. The women there are wonderful and there is no need to feel embarrassed and there is always Kleenex handy (for a reason.) Having an abusive mate follow your every move (if you are lucky enough to leave them) is nerve-racking to say the least. Some abusers will fade off into the sunset and go out and find someone else they can control and abuse, yet, there are others who are persistent and can become dangerous. NEVER answer that phone again and NEVER answer your door!!! NEVER under estimate your ex abuser! If you feel he is becoming aggressive then phone the police and press charges (the police love that one.) Unfortunately, he will only spend a few nights in jail, but it would give you time to decide what your plan of escape is and I hope it's right to an Abused Women's Center. A "restraining order" isn't worth the paper it's written on and many abusive men (or women) are all about control and don't feel they have to follow the law like others in the community. I hope to hear from you hon. Good luck Marcy

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โˆ™ 2006-03-23 09:52:18
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Q: How can you make your mentally and physically abusive ex understand that you are finished with him if he calls at all hours and wants to come back?
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Feelings and thinking are interlocked. We feel, therefore we think. You can't separate the two. The abuser has either been brought up in an environment of abuse, or a trauma in his/her life has caused them to have an abusive and explosive personality or, they are simply mean to the bone. If you would like to learn more about true abuse then go on: www.google.com TYPE IN: What causes a person to be physically or mentally abusive? Good reading. Hope this helps. Marcy