How do your boyfriend get over his past relationships?

Answer 1

If it's not you who's having a problem with them but your boyfriend, see

" "What can you do if past relationships of the man you love are confusing him and affecting your relationship?"

instead. (If by "you" you mean "you both")

Past is past. Nothing can change it. I know you know it. AND IT SUCKS. it hurts like hell.

I KNOW. cause we're the same. my bf has dated someone in the past for 3 years. but it's an on&off relationship.

STILL. the girl was his first, and he was the girl's first. aww. then, i entered they're life like poof. they were "off" at that time for about a couple of weeks i think. he said he likes me. and i fell for him -not knowing his past. ONLY hints o it.

AND NOW, i know almost EVERYTHING, and i have a feeling that they still like-no, LOVE each other.

I think of breaking up with him at times but.. the thought of him going back to his past makes me... anguished. IT SUCKS.

If i continue this relationship, maybe.. he'll move on. we'll move on.

anyway, the best thing you can do is... be sincere.

TELL HIM. how much it sucks.

I don't know the exact problem so i can't give you any accurate help.

if he laughs off the problem like my bf did.. don't panic.

don't over react.

maybe.. it's just his way of showing you that... HE CAN'T FACE the PROBLEM.

or.. that it's not a threat.

but really, don't do what i do. I SPY, with my little eye.

and learn secrets. stuff he hides. stuff that hurts.

to end this,

I'll share with you a quote by Mother Teresa,

"I have found the paradox, that if you love till it hurts... there would be no more hurt, only more love"

Just as he had past relationships so did you! Think of it this way ... he went with other women, but he chose you! You went with other men and you chose him! You see, in order to find the right person you have to "try on" a few or you'll never know when you meet the right person.

Please don't let his past relationships ruin your relationship with him. There is nothing worse than a jealous nature when there is absolutely no reason for it. If you think it out as I described it in the first paragraph this will help you put things in perspective.

If he should cheat on you while going together, then it's time for you to move on and don't look back.

As in every bad situation you need to dicipline yourself to cut any connection with this individual. If you get rid of the source of the problem, then there is no more problem. At first or even throughout your life, it will be hard to keep away, but if you want results then you need to focus on reality and not fanticy.

Everyone makes mistakes. You need to realize this and forgive him. If you are jealous then you need to let go of that jealousy. It's not his fault. Once again, we all make mistakes.

If he has done something awful in the past, that you cannot forgive, then it might be best to move on and leave him.

His past relations are not really any of your concern. Unless this is a person that is still in his life, like the parent of a child. His past isn't about you. If you want his future to be you, better stop thinking about his past. He isn't living in it, you shouldn't be either. you have no business there. It is that simple. It is about being insecure. If you are insecure, then you are not going to be able to get past anything. That isn't healthy.

ANSWER

Just don't think about it. That will help.

i think through trust. if you trust that he has moved on to you, and not the past, then that is the only way that you can stop thinking about it. other than that, you will always have that in the ba k of your mind, and that's not healthy.

Answer 2

I cannot stress enough it's important to leave your past behind. There is nothing wrong with keeping in touch with one or two ex's periodically, but if you love the person you're with why the need for keeping in touch with ex's? There is no need! I have male friends and my husband has female friends and we even have them over for dinner, but that's a lot different than having dated these people. I also was divorced before and I didn't keep bringing up my ex and I simply moved on because that was then and this is now! It isn't a matter of trust, but a matter of considering your partners feelings. Marcy You need to communicate with your boyfriend and tell him it bothers you that he's always talking about his ex girlfriends ... that was then and this is now! If he works or goes to school or college and can't help bumping into some of them there is nothing wrong with a quick hello. However, it's crass to keep bringing them up to you and he's not the brightest bulb in the box by doing so. There is no way he can't understand that this hurts your feelings and it leaves a heavy cloud hanging over your relationship. This guy is egotistical and you need to bring him down to size. Don't act like a jealous shrew, but ask him one question, "how would you like it if I was bumping into old boyfriends and kept talking about them?" If he's arrogant he may tell you it wouldn't bother him and that's when you tell him you don't expect him not to say hello to the odd ex girlfriend if he should bump into them, but it's time for him to grow-up, quit being so self-important and if he can't leave the past behind you sure can! Move on! He's playing head games. Good luck Marcy THAT ONE IS A HARD ONE. THATS A TRUST ISSUE FOR SOME PEOPLE. I AM FRIENDS WITH ALL OF MY EX BOYFRIENDS THERE ARE TIMES THAT WE HANG OUT, TALK ON THE PHONE. THATS AS FAR AS IT GOES. IF HE HAS NOT GIVEN YOU ANY REASON NOT TO TRUST HIM YOU SHOULDNT HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

Answer 3

focus on the good things hes done. make him prove to you hes better. convince yourself that your changing him.

Everyone has a past just as you likely do. It would be unreasonable for you to hold his past against him as it really has nothing to do with you. Focus on now and the future and try not to be so insecure and selfish.

Answer 4

If you feel you have to be a detective to get any bad or good views on your spouse then there is something very wrong with your relationship. Since you're either living together or married you should know more than you do. You could be sly and talk about memories with his/her family and see what you can dig up from that. If you suspect criminal charges of any sort have been laid against your spouse then you should be able to find them in the police archives.

Answer 5

You remember that past is past, just focus on the present.

Answer 6

if you trust him to know that he is in love with you now, then don't worry about it. the key word was PAST, those relationships are in the PAST and most likely wont come back

Answer 7

honey i still have not been able to find that answer but really....theres not one you have to just deal with it the past is the past....just be glad he's with you now...

Answer 8

Well just don't think of the girl anymore! thats what i did. Hope this helps.......