How do you deal with a mother who habitually gives me silent treatment whenever she is angry with me this has been going on since I was a child I am now 53?

The good news is that you seem to have weathered it ok, since you have reached the age of 53. The thing that is mildly troubling is that at the age of 53 you are dwelling on this. I will guess that your mother knows full well that you dwell on this, and that is one reason the behavior continues.

Start with the simple truth that you cannot change your mother. I suggest you just get on with life. When the 'silent treatment' kicks in, just say something like "Wow! I really appreciate the quiet; it's a refreshing change. Let me know if you want to talk about anything." Say it cheerfully and not as an insult or challenge. And then just go on about your business. Be cheerful and upbeat, or at the very least be the same person you usually are. Don't go out of your way to avoid your mother or be cruel or unkind to her; let her be. She thinks that she is treating you like a child, and she's doing it because she thinks that what parents are supposed to do. Somehow, she has missed your transition to adulthood. But the sad thing is that she is acting like a child, not like an adult or parent of an adult child.

Your response to her behavior is the best tip-off about where she is coming from. Do you feel responsible for her happiness and wellbeing when she does this? If so, you are playing the parent role. Do you feel guilty and feel the need to do her will in order to placate her anger? Then you are taking the child role. What I'm suggesting is to just NOT take either of those positions. Take the position of the mature adult that you are, and let her sulk and wallow if that is what she wants to do. She is a big girl; she can figure it out if she wants to. But it is NOT your job to make her or to help her figure it out.

If you are successful in breaking out of the unhealthy role, you might very well see some escalation on her part-- she might get emotional, hysterical or even threatening. Stay in your adult place and don't get hooked; see it as the very interesting thing that it is. If she threatens suicide, take it seriously-- and call the police. You can help keep her safe without putting up with unhealthy control on her part.