How do you deal with difficult people?

Try to avoid them as much as possible but when you do run into them be polite and treat them with respect. Good luck!


You CAN'T avoid difficult people because they seek out situations that can provoke a reaction.

Also, since it's usually their problem, why should you be bothered by it?

Think about it this way: they will go home and it will have ruined their day, but you can go home and say, "I met this loser today" and still have a good night with your family

It's usually issues with self-control, past anger from helplessness, and/or past resentment, so keep in mind its a problem stemming from another problem,

which problems usually do, (so have an air of sympathy for them and their situation).

Therefore, I would advise you not to argue or call them names, because not only will this make the situation worse, but it makes you a nicer person if you don't and consider what actually makes them like this.

They may not even realise they are actually angry or difficult so keep your voice calm, try to help as much as possible, helpfulnes will make a difference, even if you know you are only pretending to be helpful, its the illusion that will help.

Listen to what they are saying, their concerns, even their shouting, but don't take any serious threat to your safety (if you feel really threatened, get help).

Try not to say early on, "stop shouting" or "you're being unreasonable", because this draws attention to their flaws and at that point can make them worse, and don't say you are being always say you seem, "being" is an aggressive and absolute word, seem is a possibility and explains you may be misunderstanding their attitude and they may calm down.

But maybe say, "you're going to have to be patient with me here" because no one wants to think they are not patient and they want YOU to be the unreasonable one

Don't be sympathetic when they get really bad, because this only fuels their victimization of themselves and gives them full permission to be acting this way.

Say "you're scaring me, so can you please stop" no one wants to be scaring everyone, that feels horrible, and "I can't help you when you are shouting at me" (obviously as long as they ARE shouting)

Try not to be repetitive, because it seems like you are not listening not taking what they are saying seriously and not trying to actually help them

Being reasonable is a must, because that was one of my worst problems: people who you just cant reason with. I would see red when people did that, so you can actually help them and you by being as reasonable as you can until they get really bad.

They may feel cornered, as if they have no other option, so try to give more options, but if that's not possible call someone higher than you, not only does it seem you are doing something to help but it puts the duty on the higher person, not nice but makes your life easier.

Don't argue back it IS what they want, and you'll notice if you're always calm they actually get angrier, because they want you to react so badly so it can then be a full blown thing to get their anger out and YOUR fault.

If they seemed reasonable, and then got angry, it could just be a misunderstanding so go over what you said, find what the problem is and why it can't be fixed, and be sure to be as helpful as you can

You can't fix them and they will probably be like that until THEY see their own difficulty themselves and admit they have a problem and decide to change it. All you can do is try to make sure it doesn't hurt you.

They are their own responsibility and their family's responsibility to deal with and don't let them drag you down.

Be courteous and succinct. Do not linger around them. Do not fight back (as this will only egg them on to be more critical or nasty). Take the high road and spend little time around them (except when they are not being so difficult).

If its a continuous problem and too much to take on board. Best to leave them alone. be civil. If it is a friend, colleague, boyfriend and family. They will be clarified problematic individual with anxious and anger issues they need to address to someone who are more trained professional health carers who will assist them with their needs. In other case they need to rectify the problem themselves. If it is client and profession their is no need. Pay pack money in bank account.