Your Ex loves you like a friend and probably needs you in her life but doesn't understand that she does. You may want more than friendship in your relationship while she is happy with things as they are now. Leaving things as they are may cause you harm and make you bitter when you keep behaving like a spouse when she has no intention of committing herself to you. You are going to have to leave it to her to discover the importance of marital commitment on her own. It might be healthiest for you to break it off with her and look for someone who will commit to living as your spouse, not simply use you for her emotionasl comfort and be oblivious to your need to be loved.