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How do you keep an unhappy marriage intact?

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βˆ™ 2006-08-30 08:24:52

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Probably with lots of gifts and love and time spent with your partner is a typical answer, but for any marriage to work, the creator of marriage and the true expert on it, must be involved. Marriage is a covenant. look covenant up.Read the New Testament in an easy to understand Bible. There, you will see what is required. That is the main rule book. If you desire to please God, you will automatically please your mate, and your mate will want to please you. It is hard work, but worth it.The road is narrow and few are selfless enough to take it, but the rewards are great. Anytime, you are searching for answers about marriage difficulties, look to Christian help. God made marriage.He is the expert, not to mention, he loves you and wants to see you succeed. You have a choice.He gives you that.He will not push, but you will have such satisfaction knowing you are doing it the way it is meant to be.Always remember forgiveness is vital.Search through several sights on the web under marriage restoration, Christian marriage, healing marriage, etc.Always, always look to Christian help. The world has made a mess of marriage, God can restore. The above answer is very good, but, some people aren't Christians or believe in faith so I will answer this in another way. Whether you believe in God or not, when you take a vow in a church it is at least a vow you give to each other and just not a lot of lifeless words. It's so easy to talk, but action speaks a thousand words. There are many reasons for a relationship to go sour, but if one tries (it takes two) then a couple can beat anything that life has to dish out. Here are some reasons why marriages go wrong: Lack of communication (start communicating!) Money problems (sit down together and add all your bills up and if they amount to more than you are both making then you are going to need help from a financial advisor that you can see at any banking institution.) Lack of affection (often we take each other for granted and our lives are hectic so many couples can pass each other like two ships in the night. Sex goes out the window! (Start making time for each other even if it means going for long walks together or taking time out on the weekend for each other .. go on a holiday even if it's just for a weekend.) Some women have to work, come home and clean house, make meals and raise children while some men come home from work and sit down and do little else but relax. (Stop! Start sharing the responsibilities in your household! Help look after the children or suggest to your wife that you will look after the kids and she can go out at least once a week with her girlfriends. In turn, you take some time off with a male friend.) It wouldn't hurt any man to help with the dishes or housework because it leaves more time for the couple and their children. Often men don't realize that if they start appreciating what their wife does and buy her a bouquet of flowers once in awhile or surprise her with a night out for dinner it works miracles. Start doing it! The one main problem I hear women complain about is men don't really listen to what they are saying and when they have a problem some men look at their wives like they've been blasted with a stun gun while other men appear to be listening, but tune-out their wives. Not good! In turn she should ask how your day was. All in all it's about respect, honesty, sharing, and COMMUNICATION! Don't beat yourselves up over it because we all have dead spots in our marriage that we have to work out. Women are more apt to put up with quite a bit, then suddenly have had it and move out. Often the woman is not moving out because of another man at all, but wants to clear her head and breath fresh air. I know I've felt that way on occasion, but love my husband dearly so we communicate well and try to correct our problems. Let's just say my husband and I take a lot of walks by the river and sometimes if we discuss problems at home we make sure the TV is turned off, the phone is disconnected and we talk things out and come to some common ground. It works! Sit down with your wife and remember the blame is not on you or her, but both of you. Discuss with her what she wants out of the marriage and what she feels you are doing wrong and then she should give you the same opportunity with your grievances. That's the adult way to do it. If this doesn't work then separation is a good idea so you can both think about things for a few months and then decide if you really love each other or want a divorce. Having faith isn't such a bad idea either. I am a Christian and I have seen miracles work, but my husband is an Agnostic. I know that sometime in his life he'll be humbled enough to murmer these words "Oh God, help me!" I've seen it so often. I don't believe in forcing people to believe in my faith, but if they ask I will sure give them the clearest answers possible. I know that since I have been a Christian life is so much more peaceful and rewarding and I NEVER feel alone! Good luck!

2006-08-30 08:24:52
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