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How do you know if he is an abuser when he asks you early in the relationship to marry you or if he is just in love with you?

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2005-11-12 08:34:00
2005-11-12 08:34:00

If he's an abuser you would know it! SOME SIGNS Controlling personality (tell you what HE likes, doesn't care what you like, do think, and sure doesn't want any part of what life surrounds you.) He's all important Calls you names; swears at you; could tell you you're ugly, fat, what to wear, how he may not like something you are wearing. Slaps, hits, pushes, shoves and punches you. Often quickly after he will apologize and say things like "I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry, I'll never do it again." You can bet your last stash of nose rings this guy will beat you again. Alienates you from family and friends and doesn't want you seeing ANYONE, but him. Constantly puts you, your family and friends down Sees nothing wrong with going out and doing what he wants to do, but expects you to sit at home and wait until he decides to call (could be a few days.) If you think he's not around watching, he is! Is jealous to the point he doesn't like you to be out of sight, but if you are lucky enough to have some free time away from him he wants to know who you have been with and if you've done something totally innocent such as be out with your female friends he won't believe you. These are but a few, but I think it's enough for you to decide. If everything in your inner self is telling you to wait to get married, listen to yourself! He may be OK, but you really need to date someone at least a year to get to know them somewhat. Unfortunately, we don't even know ourselves 100%, so how can we be expected to know someone else 100%. Waiting a year or a little more at least will give you the time to see any signs of abuse in this guy. They can't hide it forever. As I said, he could be a great guy, but give it a little more time. If he loves you, he'll wait. I'd like to add, if you've come from a former abusive relationship I hope you have gotten therapy for it, as it's a proven fact that statistics taken, over 89% of women will either go back to their abusive relationship or find men that abuse them. Good luck Marcy

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