How do you let go of someone you loved if the thought of being just friends kills you but you don't want to lose them?
This scenario has happened to many of us and it does hurt. Believe it or not you can love/hate a person all at the same time. That person could have been kind and loving at the beginning, but as the months rolled by or years, that person can change and you miss the "old them" and some people continue to hang on in hopes the person will return to their old selves. Sometimes they do, but before that time has a chance to come, the partner has pretty much had it and moves on. They are left with loving the person they first met, and detesting the person for what they have become. The person who has been hurt also is left feeling frustrated, betrayed and over-whelmed.
It's best to walk away and not see that person again. If they really love you they'll find you! Don't take it too personally if they don't because I am a big believer until we find that person that is special in our lives and one most of us deserve, then we go through the pain of other relationships.
I was in love very deeply when I was 18 and even though I was treated on the shoddy side it was only out of inexperience I put up with it. Because of my youth, by the time I reached 20 and got engaged to this guy, I didn't listen to the comments from family and friends that I "could do better." I figured I could change this man and I did my best. Well, this man turned out to be a womanizer (big time) and went from mental abuse to physical. It took 3 years for me to finally get the message and when I did I was off and running! I changed jobs, got my own apartment and took time out to find out what I was about (my strong points and personality and what parts of my life I had to grow up into) and then I was introduced to a wonderful man and went with him for almost 5 years. Why 5 years? I wanted to be darn sure I was ready for a life-long commitment of marriage. I am happy to say I can now see all the pain I went through was just a learning curve to prepare me for that right person and that wonderful young man has been my husband for 33 years and we are best friends and lovers.
Letting go is the hardest thing...
Maybe you dont have to let this person go enitirely. Give yourselves some time, a month or two apart, no contact. Then meet up again and see if you can be just friends w/o having hurt feelings. If there pain is still there, you need to decide what is best for you.
Are you hanging on to the person in hope they will change their mind and want you back? My advice to you if this is the case. Let him/her go then. I have tried to remain friends in the hope of reconnecting, but all it did was make my pain worse, make my heart ache so much more.
Ever hear the phrase...If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was yours. If it doesn't, it never was?
There was a time when I thought without this other person, my life wouldn't be anything what it is now. I thought he was the only one I could ever love, the only person on this earth I was meant to be with... But life goes on, and when you're least expecting it you'll find someone that makes you forget all about the one you;re currently missing. Someone you can connect with even more-trust me its possible. But for now? Stay his friend. If you don't want to loose him, you don't have to. Who knows maybe one day you'll both realize you're perfect for each other. But there's a big world out there and its not worth it to waste years of your life on someone who cannot return your feelings.