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How do you let go of your first true love after you gave him everything?

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2011-08-05 00:38:28
2011-08-05 00:38:28

Answer: You go through normal stages of mourning. Just like when someone dies. You'll go through disbelief, crying, anger, more crying, feeling okay, more anger, more crying. Everyone heals differently and in their own time frame.

Stages include:

Denial (this isn't happening to me!)

Anger (why is this happening to me?) Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)

Depression (I don't care anymore)

Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

I just went through a bad breakup and I'll still healing also. So I speak from experience (and the break up with my first love was bad, too). DO take your time in healing but get on with your life little by little. DO NOT stop your life just to mourn or wallow. DO NOT stop your life to focus on him, what he's doing or to beat yourself up. Keep yourself busy, surround yourself with friends and DO NOT jump right into another relationship. You are a good person and you did everything you could. Sometimes you can give someone everything and they just can't appreciate it or accept it and you have to, unfortunately, deal with it. It hurts and its unfair but its a part of life. You WILL be okay. I promise.

Answer: Losing someone you love certainly does hurt and most of us have been there. It feels as if you are lifeless and someone has literally torn your heart out of you. Losing a boyfriend or husband is no different than losing a loved one to death. We grieve. You need to go through the grieving process. It will hurt, but grieving is a natural thing and it makes you stronger (although you may not feel that way now.) I was married before and he was the love of my life. I too gave him everything and now I realize that was probably part of the problem. Giving of yourself too much and spoiling someone constantly is not a good mix or spoiling them with "things" will usually make that person take a form of advantage of you. I have since learned that I do give of myself and give respect only if my partner gives to me and is respectful and that goes for my friends. They get as good as they give! I am loving, have a great sense of humor, but cross me and you have one ugly woman on your hands. I also love to give gifts, but now I am much more careful. Less is best! The few gifts you do give will mean that much more to the person. People (all people) have to work at relationships to earn respect, and sometimes terrible things happen to nice people. This world should motivate itself on giving opening of oneself, helping others, etc., but the reality of it is, 5 chances out of 10 we are hurt. So, what do we do? Do we curl up in a ball and hide from life? Nope, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, learn from that experience and move on. We shouldn't become bitter or feel we did anything wrong. WE DO HAVE CONTROL OF OUR OWN DESTINIES! However, we can't control how other people behave or want to treat us, but, God gave us a brain to use, and when someone repeatedly hurts you, you kick their butt out of your life and move on. I know how you are feeling because I've been there and I am telling you the truth that in a year or more you are going to be so thankful you didn't end up with the guy because you are going to find one terrific guy that should treat you the way you should be treated. Have a little cry, get mad, kick a door, then dust yourself off and get going!

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