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here's my personal quote for which i live by "yesterday is gone and today starts a new life for which you control, if you wake up thinking about wrongs of yesterday you have already ruined the day, and you have to start all over again the next" and if you ruin to many days you will look at yourself years down the road and realize that it is to late to start over again so do it now while you still have a grip on it,,, hope that helps:0)

I like what the other poster said. I was in a emotional/physical abusive marriage for almost 4 years. It hurt so I know how you feel. At first you tend to blame ourselves because you simply can't understand why anyone would treat you in such a way when you didn't deserve it. Well, there are some sick and nasty people out there. I divorced by first husband and found my own apartment and got a new job, made new friends and did date. I made up my mind that I wasn't going to let one man sour me against all men and so, I dated and was as careful as I possibly could be to pick men I thought were kind and gentle and most were (none were abusive.) I also gave myself a chance to get to know who and what I was about and got to know my own strengths and weaknesses. I learned from that bad relationship. I met and married a wonderful man and had absolutely no problem in the fear that he too would be emotionally/physically abusive to me because I knew now what signs to look for and I had the control to walk out the door anytime I wanted if this behavior happened.

Here is a quote I have on my fridge: "WHEN YOU DON'T FORGIVE SOMEONE THAT HAS HURT YOU THEY STILL HAVE CONTROL OVER YOU!" Let it go, and enjoy!

well, to be honest, some of those memories will stay with you for awhile because things affect everyone less or more differently than other people. I was in an emotional abusive relationship for 4 years and I am currently in a healthy loving relationship 6 months later, but I still have some doubt and trouble letting go some of those things I went through. It's natural to feel that way because you are scared of being hurt again, especially if the person before hurt you tremendously. the only thing I can suggest, which is what I am currently doing myself, is to just let go of those memories and make new good ones. you know what to expect now and what you are not willing to put up with if things start going wrong again. take what you learned from the past abusive relationship and apply it to your new relationship. most likely you have learned something already because you have established a new relationship as it is, and most likely this guy is an improvement from the last. just go with the flow. and as much as this may suck to say and hear, if a guy is going to hurt you there really isn't anything you can do about it. we don't know who and when we will be hurt but we can control our own actions. as long as you are true to yourself and treat people with respect, then those who hurt you will have that on their heads, not you.

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โˆ™ 2017-10-03 12:55:12
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Q: How do you make a good relationship free from the bad memories of a past abusive relationship?
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