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here's my personal quote for which i live by "yesterday is gone and today starts a new life for which you control, if you wake up thinking about wrongs of yesterday you have already ruined the day, and you have to start all over again the next" and if you ruin to many days you will look at yourself years down the road and realize that it is to late to start over again so do it now while you still have a grip on it,,, hope that helps:0)

I like what the other poster said. I was in a emotional/physical abusive marriage for almost 4 years. It hurt so I know how you feel. At first you tend to blame ourselves because you simply can't understand why anyone would treat you in such a way when you didn't deserve it. Well, there are some sick and nasty people out there. I divorced by first husband and found my own apartment and got a new job, made new friends and did date. I made up my mind that I wasn't going to let one man sour me against all men and so, I dated and was as careful as I possibly could be to pick men I thought were kind and gentle and most were (none were abusive.) I also gave myself a chance to get to know who and what I was about and got to know my own strengths and weaknesses. I learned from that bad relationship. I met and married a wonderful man and had absolutely no problem in the fear that he too would be emotionally/physically abusive to me because I knew now what signs to look for and I had the control to walk out the door anytime I wanted if this behavior happened.

Here is a quote I have on my fridge: "WHEN YOU DON'T FORGIVE SOMEONE THAT HAS HURT YOU THEY STILL HAVE CONTROL OVER YOU!" Let it go, and enjoy!

well, to be honest, some of those memories will stay with you for awhile because things affect everyone less or more differently than other people. I was in an emotional abusive relationship for 4 years and I am currently in a healthy loving relationship 6 months later, but I still have some doubt and trouble letting go some of those things I went through. It's natural to feel that way because you are scared of being hurt again, especially if the person before hurt you tremendously. the only thing I can suggest, which is what I am currently doing myself, is to just let go of those memories and make new good ones. you know what to expect now and what you are not willing to put up with if things start going wrong again. take what you learned from the past abusive relationship and apply it to your new relationship. most likely you have learned something already because you have established a new relationship as it is, and most likely this guy is an improvement from the last. just go with the flow. and as much as this may suck to say and hear, if a guy is going to hurt you there really isn't anything you can do about it. we don't know who and when we will be hurt but we can control our own actions. as long as you are true to yourself and treat people with respect, then those who hurt you will have that on their heads, not you.

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โˆ™ 2017-10-03 12:55:12
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Q: How do you make a good relationship free from the bad memories of a past abusive relationship?
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Related questions

Is abusive relationship is good or bad?

Abusive relationship is not good. It affects nearly all aspects of life.

Is staying in abusive relationship a good idea?


Did Adolf Hitler have a good relationship with his mum and dad?

He had a good relationship with his mother and was very close to her, but not with his father, as his father was very stern and abusive.

What was the relationship between Hitler and his father?

They did not have a very good relationship because Hitler's father was quite abusive and authoritarian.

What is a good abusive relationship slogan?

After receiving that first blow it's time to GO!

Should you ask your boyfriend's ex if he was abusive to her?

No, just get out of the relationship. Good luck and God Bless:)

Did the Kaulitz twins have an abusive father?

They rarely speak of their father but they say they had and have a good relationship with him so I doubt that.

What do guys think of women who are verbally abusive and swear all the time?

That's they aren't good for a relationship and certainly not good for a child

Can get an answer from an abuser if you ask them reason for their abusive nature?

No, because if they are still being abusive, they see the world from another perspective. If you are expecting that this will happen or that you can convince someone that they are abusive, chances are that you won't see it happen. About all you can do is to call them on their behavior, saying how it makes you feel. A good book is Patricia Evan's The Abusive Relationship.

Is divorce ever a good idea?

If you are in a bad relationship, you should get out of it. If you see areas of improvement which could easily be changed, go to counseling before you take the matter any further. If the relationship is abusive, you have the right to get out of the relationship.

What do you do if your husband is emotionally and physically abusive and you just bumped into an old boyfriend and you are tempted to cheat?

==One thing at a time== If your husband is truly abusive (you're not just looking for an excuse to wander), then you need to get out of the relationship, and fast! Once you have removed yourself from the abusive relationship, and have a chance to reflect on the reasons you chose a man like that, and also the reasons for remaining in the relationship once you found out that he was abusive, then...and only then, you should feel free to look for, and engage in, other relationships. If your old boyfriend truly cares about you, he will understand and give you the space you need to work through your present problems. Good luck. Bugger off with the old flame if you've got any sense.

What are the ill effects of a abusive maternal relationship?

For a man, he would not have the mother to be a good role model on how he should treat women. For the woman, she would not be able to have a mother to guide her in becoming a confident female. The effect of having an abusive maternal relationship could take years to sort through.

Does a mans ex still recall the good memories in her previous relationship or does she forget the memories and move on?

Each individual is different when it comes to whether they want to remember the good times over the bad times they had with their ex. If the woman ends the relationship on a bad note with her boyfriend or husband she is more likely to try to forget him and move forward. Humans cannot truly forget what has happened in their past, but, it's whether they wish to remember the good or bad memories is entirely up to them.

What human characteristics does a rabbit have?

Rabbits have very good memories Rabbits are free-roaming Rabbits are lively and vivacious

How do you get out of an abusive relationship when he is a good father?

If your kids are young and adorable, then he will remain a good father for now and just be abusive against his partner. But when the kids get older and tougher to handle in their teenage years, then there is a pretty good chance that the father will become abusive against them as well. Most abuse comes from the fear of losing control.The children aren't safe, they as well are at risk, that would be enough of an argument to pack your bags.

Why cant you erase childhood memories why do you have memories?

because if there are good memories you would want to keep them

When will you begin to feel 'normal' after leaving an abusive relationship?

There is no one correct answer. So long as a person remembers anything of the abusive relationship, it will always have some effect on them simply by remembering it. In a similar fashion to some believing virginity can never be regained once lost, someone who is abused can never be "never abused" unless they incur a complete amnesia over their memory of the entire abusive relationship. The more serious consequences to the victim of a relationship, such as depression (suicidal thoughts or feelings of worthlessness, etc.), nightmares, "battered wife syndrome" (in which one thinks the abusive relationship is their fault and the relationship can be good again if they are a better lover) may not pass at all if the victim has chronic depression (chronic depression doesn't mean feeling depressed after an emotionally traumatic event, such as an abusive relationship, but is a neurochemical imbalance that can make it impossible for a person to stop feeling depressed even long after the event, whereas a normal person will feel depressed but the feeling of depression fades after not too long of a period). Several months to a year or more may be required for the worst symptoms to pass. Certainly, if bad symptoms persist for longer than a year, professional help may be required (but it is a good idea for the victim of an abusive relationship to get professional help early anyway, as some of the side effects of an abusive relationship can be deadly).

Do girls or boys have better memories?

it depends they both can have good memories

When you get out of an abusive relationship is it good to talk about your experience or move on with your life?

It is good to talk about it so that you can move on. If you just hold it all inside then you never really let it go. Talk with someone that you really trust.

Why do good people suffer?

I never understand why. its really upsetting, but if any one reading is in a abusive relationship i would leave them. its easier said than done, but believ me good people should not suffer.

Why do people remain in abusive relationships?

because there can be good things that come from the bad relationship.....that person may just have an anger issue but is still very sweet sometimes

Is it abusive when my boyfriend hits me?

* This could be a warning that he will be abusive in the future. If you don't want to end up dead or seriously injured, it would be a good idea to get out of that relationship now. * No manshould ever hit any women! This is abuse! If a man gets frustrated by the actions of a woman he is free to leave that relationship and not reduce himself to abusing women. It is also not right for a woman to hit a man without provocation such as being attacked with intent to rape. Get rid of this low life! You deserve better!

Why cant you stop thinking about your ex even though im married?

1 Because you have good memories of the relationship and perhaps your current is still new with memories waiting to be made. 2 You had a stronger natural love with your ex, some have to be worked at.

Do parrots have good memories?

Yes. Parrots have perfect memories so they can remember.

What do you do if my relationship is too physical?

If you mean abusive, then you can: End the relationship. Just tell him/her that you have had enough and walk away Talk to him/her about it. tell them you dont like the way they are treating you. If they change, good. If not do something else. Call the Cops if they hit you or threaten you.