There is no way the legal father won't get custody if you die first. Unless it can be proven by your mother that the child is living in physical, mental, or emotional abuse. Or the father signs all his rights away to you before you die.
It is my understanding that if a Father has supervised or restricted parenting time, then you can either request the Court or make an agreement between the parties that your parents or a designated temporary custodian be appointed in the event of your untimely death. Then, the Court can later decide who the child(ren) should be with. I know that there is a law in Indiana on this. I'm not sure about other states. Also, I'm sure that the Father would be able to fight this if he wanted.
• Essentially, the only way to have a chance at this, is if you have a will stating you want care to go to your parents instead of the father. A will is a legal document that must be followed. The father could fight this, but he would find it difficult and excessively expensive. I got that info from my lawyer.
You are required to live with the parent that your custody decree awarded custody to. It doesn't matter what you want. If your dad has custody and you run away to live with your mom instead, it's even possible your mom could go to jail for this. If you think you can convince a court that it's in your best interest to modify the custody decree and award your mother custody instead, then you can always get a lawyer to petition the court to revise the custody decree.
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