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Answered 2007-01-16 18:18:14

The first step would be to realize that fantasizing about extramarital sex is not equivalent to an actual sexual affair with someone. The next step would be to discuss honestly the problems the two of you are having. Doing that with professional facilitation may be a good option. While the internet is a wonderful tool it has it's down-side like everything else and porn sites are one of them. Unplug the computer and get rid of it! Then seek counseling. If your mate rejects this idea then it's time to move on.

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How does the cheating spouse fix the marriage?

The short version is...grow up


If sex is lacking in a marriage is it conidered cheating on your spouse if you pleasure yourself?

Pleasuring yourself is never cheating.


What are the signs if your spouse really wanted to work on your marriage after getting caught cheating?

There is only one sign and that is if he were to agree to go to marriage counseling and keep each appointment with you. It is important that he realizes a marriage counselor is not there to place blame on either spouse, but to give them tools in order for them to communicate better and resolve any problems they have in their marriage.


What constitutes cheating in a marriage?

Having sex with someone who isn't your spouse (or your hand)


How much can you trust your cheating spouse after his affair?

That's for the spouse to determine depending on the condition of the marriage and severity of the adultery (if any).


What is the most dangerous place in England?

Directly in front of your spouse if you have been caught cheating


How do you save your marriage while dealing with your cheating spouse?

If you have proof positive your spouse is cheating then confront them and stop enabling their behavior. Let them know they are either going to try to save the marriage by seeing a Marriage Counselor and making an effort to improve upon the marriage or they are out the door! If they are in denial and continue to cheat then you are going to have to make some heartbreaking decisions and follow through on your threat; perhaps get a separation for the time being and this may well shock the spouse that is cheating into wanting to earn your trust back and stop their cheating. Although cheating is extremely hurtful to the other spouse and there are no excuses for cheating there are several reasons a person may cheat: the spouse may have grown up in an environment where one or both parents cheated; they may have had relationships in the past or possibly even a marriage where their mate cheated; it is also possible that the cheating spouse may constantly need to know they are attractive and virile to the opposite sex; some cheating spouses feel unloved and try to find love; others are addicted to sex and seek further relationships while others simply like sex and the danger of being caught cheating (a thrill.) Good communication skills and either a Marriage Counsel or a psychologist is the only way a marriage in this amount of trouble may be saved, but it takes the two spouses to agree to get the help.


How sorry is your cheating spouse after the affair?

* As to how sorry the cheating spouse is depends on the individual who cheated. Some men make a mistake once and feel guilty and heartbroken when they realize how they have hurt their spouse or children; other men feel no remorse for cheating and are just sorry they got caught.


Your spouse was caught cheating do you still pay alimony?

In a No Fault Divorce state it issue is not applicable.


Could you really trust your spouse to change if the affair he had would be his last?

When a spouse breaks that bond of trust it will take several months to possibly a year or more (of good behavior) for that cheating husband to earn the trust back from their spouse. The victim of a cheating spouse should never make it easy for the cheater to come back into their lives and continue on as if nothing has happened, but, they should not harp at the cheating spouse or the relationship would wither away. To err is human and sometimes either men or women make a mistake and cheat, but some never cheat again while others may find themselves cheating over and over again. This is why it is important for the victim of cheating to tell their spouse they will only take them back if they agree to go to marriage counseling where the marriage counselor can give them the tools to correct the weak areas in the marriage. If the cheating spouse refuses, then it is better to walk away from the marriage.


What actually works to catch a cheating spouse?

My friend suspected her spouse of cheating, so she went out and purchased a tape recorder and hid it under the passenger seat of his car and recorded for a few days. That is how she caught him.


How should a caught cheating wife act towards their spouse?

She should shut up and listen to whatever he says.


How does cheating ruin the trust in a marriage?

Vows were taken in a marriage to love and honor and the couple are expected to stay together for the rest of their lives. When a spouse cheats they break this bond of trust and it is extremely difficult to gain back if the spouse being cheated on doesn't ask for a divorce first. Cheating is sleazy; selfish and hurts not only the husband or wife; but any children they have and perhaps members of both sides of the family. When a spouse cheats they are not only cheating, but they are lying to their spouse.


What can you do to the mistress if you caught her cheating with your mate?

* Why go after the mistress! It should be your mate that you go after as they instigated the affair. You have a choice of splitting up if you are just going together or, if married you can sit down and discuss the problems in your marriage and try to work on a more successful marriage; separate from your spouse or divorce him.


How does one cheat on their husband and not get caught?

Cheating is selfish; hurtful and the person cheating lacks character. If one is so unhappy with their spouse they have two options. #1: Sit down and actually communicate and start discussing the problems in the marriage and perhaps see a marriage counselor. #2: Realize that you and your spouse are never going to get along no matter how much you try and get a divorce. People who cheat want it all. If the affair doesn't work out then they can always go back to the financial security and safety of the home. Before one cheats they should ask themselves how they would like their spouse cheating on them.


Is your husband a risk taker when it comes to cheating?

Cheating on a spouse in unacceptable, but it does happen. If a husband continues to cheat then yes, he is a risk taker. Some husbands grow bored with their marriage and are looking for excitement; they want to see if they are still able to attract the opposite sex, yet some men love the chase and the secrecy of cheating. Most men know they will get caught sooner or later, but with some of these cheating husbands it actually gives them a thrill to have a high of being caught.


Why do cheating spouses often pick fights with their betrayed spouse?

The cheating spouse often feels guilty, but for most who get caught it is not because they feel sorry for what they did, but angry that they were caught. Some spouses may feel they are stuck with their mate or, the victim of cheating may not want to grant a divorce so the cheating spouse may push and shove to make life miserable for the victim of cheating and force them to divorce them.ANSWER:Quite simple, it's not about the guilt his feeling but trying to make sure if you fought back, he will have a reason to get out of the house and head to the other person's home


What do you do when your husband cheated and still may be cheating?

No spouse should have to put up with their spouse cheating or continuing to cheat. You can sit down with your husband and tell him you refuse to put up with his cheating and if he continues then you will file for divorce. No man or woman in a marriage is to stay in a marriage where one is disloyal. You should have self confident enough to know what you want and do not want in your life.


What can a man get out of a divorce if his wife is caught cheating?

Depending on the assets they have as a couple, probably not much more than the normal split. Freedom from a cheating spouse is guaranteed with divorce, though.


Why most married man think their affair is not a mistake until they get caught?

Men generally do not think their affair is a mistake (a few only) and it is a gutless way to resolve marriage problems. Most men cheat because it is sneaky; they know it and some men may feel guilty and some will not and blame their spouse for all their misgivings. Immature husbands once caught cheating are severely uncomfortable at being caught and some may try to justify their actions by blaming their spouse. The spouse should never enable their cheating husband because what they did was wrong! The wife has the control over the situation and needs to make it very clear to her husband she is not enabling his behavior and he either goes to marriage counseling to try and save the marriage or the wife will either file for separation or divorce.


Law definition of adultery?

Adultery is the act of cheating on your spouse. Adultery is the act of cheating on your spouse.


Term for cheating on a spouse?

cheating ANSWER: what about Adultery and Adulteress


Why do the ugly images of spouse adultery refuse to go away?

When a spouse gives their other spouse all their love; trust and loyalty they always feel their spouse will do the same so when the spouse has an affair it comes as a shock to the other spouse. It is heartbreaking; that treasured bond of trust you once had in your spouse has gone and not easily earned back. It is normal to envision your cheating spouse being with someone else and enjoying themselves and it makes you question yourself as far as 'did I do something wrong; perhaps not enough and I let my partner down'; 'is our sexual relationship not good enough and did I do anything wrong; to 'does my cheating spouse think I am not attractive enough' or in some cases 'have I lost my looks and I'm too old and they don't want me anymore.' This makes the victim of a cheating spouse feel insecure and eventually they become angry and resentful and find it difficult to forgive their spouse for the cheating; the victim cannot feel sympathy for their spouse; the victim has a deep seated urge to pay back their cheating spouse for all the hurt he/she caused them and this in turn involves a poor sexual relationship because the victim feels when their cheating spouse is making love they are still thinking of the other person they cheated with. Marriage counseling can help, but it is entirely up to you (you hold the power) to either move on from the marriage or see a marriage counselor to learn the tools to deal with any problems in your marriage, but it takes the both of you to make it work. As far as your trust in your spouse it will take time and it is entirely up to them to earn that trust again.


Dream your spouse is cheating?

It is very common when a marriage has some problems that one spouse is worried the marriage will fail and they become extremely stressed about it and may suspect their spouse is cheating. When one sleeps the brain is still active and all people dream every half hour to release the stress of the day, but most of people do not remember their dreams as they are in full REM sleep. It is the first few moments when a person wakes up (it seems longer than a few moments) that they will remember a dream or a nightmare. The best thing you can do is choose a quiet evening with your spouse and calmly (without accusing them) that you had a dream that they were cheating. Your spouse will not be upset because they know it's just a dream to them, but watch for body language and facial expressions. If you feel there is a chance your spouse is cheating then ask them right out. If they deny it and you are still sure they are cheating your only two options is to have a friend with a car and the two of you follow your spouse or, hire a detective for the days your spouse is not around.


Do you think your spouse is cheating but he is not?

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