Mental Health
Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

How do you move on after a verbally and emotionally abusive with a husband of 12 years if you have two small children and your husband doesn't want you anymore but you still love him?

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2007-03-26 01:48:03

Don't kill him understand that you think you still love him it's

quite possible that deep inside that you do but think about the

times he disrespected you out of your name and think to yourself do

really still want that and it the answer is no don't worry about

him anymore in time he will see how much you loved him and then he

will feel bad that he did you wrong karma is real and it happens

what goes around comes around and all things you reap you will so.

So just trust and believe there is somebody out there for you that

won't disrespect you but treats you the way you deserve and stay in

prayer God is the key to all your problems time will heal all

wounds remember that. It's always a tough one when a mate (of

either sex) tells you they don't love you any longer. It happened

to me as well. I didn't have children with this person so it wasn't

as complicated as your problem, but nonetheless it hurt like crazy.

I divorced the rat! He was cheating on me (many times) was verbal

and physically abusive to me. I did put up with it for 3 1/2 years,

but gave myself a good slap and wondered where my fight and dignity

had gone. I had to get on my own feet, get my independence back

again and look after myself. I did it and so do thousands of other

women. A verbally abusive partner can leave as many scars on a

person as a physical abuser. Your husband has had his way for far

too long. By taking his verbal abuse you have enabled his behavior.

Verbal and physical abusers basically brain-wash their victims

(yes, you are a victim) by fear, and the necessity for you and your

children to walk on egg shells around this man. He's a controller!

Don't sit there saying you love him, but get darn mad! This man has

just stomped all over you and your children. By the two of you

going at it verbally (or you just sit and take it) is not good for

the children and they are picking up the habits of this behavior.

The sons are more than likely going to pick up the traits of the

father and not respect women in the future and daughters are more

apt to pick up the apathy of the mother. This is no longer about

you, but your children! Get mad, get moving and get help! There are

women's abuse centers in your area and if you can't find them then

call your local "Mental Health" and they will guide you through the

process. Love is not about hurting someone and you are just

confused and frightened at this point. If you seek help you will

gain more strength and independence and able to face up to your

verbal abuser and give him options. He can either seek help or

you're leaving with the kids. You're children SHOULD NEVER have to

put up with this whether you love this man or not. Good luck hon

Unfortunately, it takes two to create a loving relationship. One

person can't do it alone. If he hasn't actually moved out, then you

should grit your teeth and take action to ensure the safety of

yourself and your children. That is the most important thing here.

Hopefully, you are currently working, but if you aren't you need to

find shelter and/or some help to find a good job. (there may be

paid training available to find a good job to support your


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