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You are already on your way to being YOU! Sounds like you are pretty fed-up. Good! It's very important that you get to know who YOU are and find out more about your strengths and weakeness'. We all have them. You simply haven't given yourself time to get to know what and who you are about and therefore you don't have a clue what you are really capable of accomplishing. You are in a funk right now (understanably so) and it's important you hang out with up-beat friends, have some good laughs and don't be in such a hurry to find a new guy to replace the old one. There are so many great things out in the world to do so give yourself a chance. A good way to start is by volunteering in something you like and taking your mind off yourself. It gives you better insight into other people's hurts and problems and when you can help them and put a smile on their faces or they give you a big hug for your trouble you just can't beat the feeling you get from that rush. Sounds corny I know, but it works! I was married before to an abusive boyfriend and was stupid enough to marry him. After 3 1/2 years I had enough and left, found my own apartment, changed jobs, dropped most of the old friends I had (downers and connected to my ex) and made new friends. I had the time of my life! I got to know who I was and for the first time in my life I felt strong and in control of my own life. Oh yes, I dated a lot of guys and they just weren't for me (nothing really wrong with the guys) but they ended up being more friends than anything or, I just didn't care for them for various reasons. I asked myself what was so bad about going through life without a guy in my life and I couldn't come up with a good reason for feeling so sad. I forgot about trying to find the "right guy" and before I knew it one of my best male friends introduced me to a great guy and we ended up becoming friends, lovers and we've now been happily married for 34 years. Give yourself some slack and don't be in such a hurry. Self confidence is everything and you don't need a guy in your life. Until you meet that special guy, become independent because it comes in handy when you do get married and most independent relationships last longer.

2006-09-11 07:25:35
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