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Believe it or not, this reaction from family is not at all rare. Abusers are sly foxes and they are chameleons. They are miserable to you, yet smooth as silk and quite likable to others in the family, around friends or even in the workplace, simply because they don't want to lose control over their victim ... in this case you! You don't need the "rally round the flag" from your parents or family. You are an independent person, so go where someone will listen and that is an "Abused Women's Center" in your town. If you can't find the phone # then phone your local Mental Health and they will put you in the right direction. Mental abuse is every bit as damaging as physical abuse because it leaves emotional scars. Just so you are refreshed on what abuse is I'll list a few signs: MENTAL ABUSE: Playing mind games with you and being cruel about it. Calling you names (e.g. "You're a rotten cook", or, "you're too stupid to hold down a job out there.") Demanding who is phoning you or who you are phoning. Sneaking around and checking out your computer, cell phone to see who you are calling or who is calling you. Demanding you come home at a certain time (like a child) if they are good enough to even let you go out with friends. Accusing you of affairs (when you aren't having any.) Telling you what to wear. Putting you down when you achieve something in your life. Not allowing your friends over or doesn't want to go out with you to friends. NOTE: Many couples will call each other names in the heat of an argument, but this doesn't mean they are mentally abusive. If it doesn't happen on a regular basis and the person does apologize later for calling you a name then it's a plain old argument. If you are not respectful of your mate by letting them know where you are going and are out until all hours of the morning leaving them to worry themselves sick, this is not mental abuse, but concern for your safety. If you are flirting with men to annoy your mate and he argues over this and may even accuse you of an affair, this is concern on his part, he shouldn't have to put of with this behavior, and this is not abuse. PHYSICAL ABUSE: Pushing, shoving, smacking, scratching, twisting or hitting. Threatening to do you bodily harm or doing it. Making you feel like you are always having to please him for fear of a beating. Neither man nor woman should hit each other. There ARE no excuses. If one is at their wits end as they have the option pf walking out that door, going for a walk, to a friends house, a local bar, and cool off. Remember hon, you are in charge of your own destiny and you don't need the approval of any family member to do something about your mental or physical abuser. I am betting your mate is mentally abusive, or you're be toting a black eye or at least bruises and you'd have proof of his physical abuse to show family members. Good luck Marcy

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โˆ™ 2006-02-27 18:41:10
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Q: How do you respond to and deal with your parents and other relatives when your abuser has them completely fooled?
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Related questions

How does a previous abuser respond when they realize you have gotten on with your life and are now happy without them?

Depends on the abuser - but most of them become furious. They can't countenance your newly found autonomy, freedom, and independence. They refuse to believe that there is life after them!

What is an animal abuser called?

Animal Abuser or Animal Cruelty Abuser

Can a verbal abuser be forced into an abuser program if the alternative is making his family suffer for the rest of their lives because he has no concept of respect for them?

If someone is verbally abusive to their family than the family can seek counciling for theirself and the abuser. Other alturnitive is to kick the abuser out of the house. If they are under 18 than the parents could talk to the school councelor about their behavior at school and they may recommend help.

How do abusers respond to a victim's anger?

It depends on the abuser and what's going on in his mind. It also depends on how the victim expresses anger. Unfortunately, there isn't a simple answer to that question. It could take years of therapy to help you understand more about the dynamics of the abuser/abused relationship.

Can an abused child living with both parents legally get her abuser parent to be removed from their house?

Yes if authorities found out

Was David Pelzer a child abuser?

No he is not a child abuser.

Can a very responsible 15 year old get emancipated in VA if they are being abused?

Unfortunately no you cannot, You have to wait until your sixteen, and you have to be financially able to support yourself. But if you're being abused I suggest you go to the local police department and report your parents, then you'll be placed in a relatives home, if you have no relatives willing to take you then you'll be placed in foster care, if you do not wish to report your abuser which I HIGHLY suggest you do then you should get a job and save up money so you can get emancipated at 16

When was Love Your Abuser created?

Love Your Abuser was created on 2007-01-30.

What is the definition of an abuser?

An abuser is someone who attacks people with words, violence, or neglection. An abuser is also some who uses something axcessively or is addicted to something.

How would abuser react to you dumping him after he lied about having a heart attack?

He'll react like the abuser he is. You've allowed his abusive behavior on you, and he'll respond to you as he always does. Do you think that by leaving him that he'll just goes away? You're whistling in the dark. The only way to dump him is to put a barrier between the two of you - a person or distance. WHY CARE the key thing is an abuser... do you really want that type of a relationship? gotta take care of your self first.

How What if your ex husband abuser get remarried and look not abuser to new wife?

Give him time. He will.

What are the evils of the computer?

The computer in and of itself is not evil, it is an inanimate object. The user is the abuser and it is the abuser who causes the evil.

What is the best way to respond to an abuser who sees this and other abuse pages that you have visited and calls you dangerous?

Watch your back! You have now become a threat to this abuser! All abusers are not alike. Some abusers are only verbal, while others will beat their mates behind closed doors, but then there are others that can kill. You are playing an extremely dangerous game. Stop looking at information anywhere and letting the abuser know. Get away as fast as you can and don't look back! I take it you feel perfectly safe with this person and when you mention "how do I respond" it's like asking "where's the directions to Central Park." This is not a game and you are on dangerous turf. You've simply bitten off more than you can chew. Marcy

Will my boyfriend be an abuser if he yells at his mom?

Answer:The Boyfriend might become an abuser, but in the long run he will learn from his mistakes and i believe no, he will not become an abuser, if you feel like your being abused walk away =3

What happens to a animal abuser after found abusing a animal?

The abuser goes to court. If ruled guilty... The abusers has usually 5-25 years of jail time. Most of it depends on what county and state the abuser went to court in. The abuser goes to court. If ruled guilty... The abusers has usually 5-25 years of jail time. Most of it depends on what county and state the abuser went to court in.

What kinds of things can family do to help a substance abuser become clean?

The best thing that family can do for a substance abuser is stage an intervention. Once that intervention has been staged, present the abuser with the opportunity to go to rehab.

Was bing Crosby a child abuser?

I don't think Bing Crosby is a child abuser because he seems quite nice!

What actors and actresses appeared in Abuser - 2009?

The cast of Abuser - 2009 includes: Sergio Montoya Gino Montoya

Does the abuser really love the person being abused?

No the abuser does not love that person they love controlling and abusing that person and that's it. It is difficult for there to be love in an abusive relationship. The abuser can not truly give love or receive it because he or she is mentally disabled. The abusive personality is a mental disorder and the abuser needs to seek psychiatric help. An abusive relationship is not a healthy one and no matter what the abuser says, he or she can not love you, it is obsession and control that drives an abusive partner.

How can an abuser change?

go to counciling

What is another word for abuser?

a bully

Can you sue a narcissistic abuser?


What makes people vulnerable to abuse and the power relationship between the abuser and the victim?

the abuser is called sadist & the victim is called masochist.

If you are a victim of domestic battery do you have to testify against the abuser?

when the case is filed in the court you have to testify the charges against the abuser and the onus is on you to prove it.

When does a court give an abuser custody of children?

When they have been determined to not be a an abuser. Courts do not grant custody of children to adults who have been determined to be abusive.When they have been determined to not be a an abuser. Courts do not grant custody of children to adults who have been determinedto be abusive.When they have been determined to not be a an abuser. Courts do not grant custody of children to adults who have been determinedto be abusive.When they have been determined to not be a an abuser. Courts do not grant custody of children to adults who have been determinedto be abusive.