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Just like any mess. You have to get rid of the old and in the relationship its the untrust, inconsideration,disrespect, resentment, hardships, etc. Get all the old crap straightened out first before moving on to new land because it will always be in the back of each of your minds. Start slow and once a week work on some old issue but also incorporate fresh outlooks. Like if either of you have a bad habit that drives the other nuts, counteract it and together come up with a new way to the old problem and that person has to work on it earnestly, every day, until it becomes the new habit. Also, compliment one another and I dont mean, your hair looks nice, those are nice to say, but only if sincere. I mean, if you like to fish, she needs to go with you every once in a while and if she likes to go to basket weaving, you need to go with her every once in a while. Going to these outtings together will give way to more understanding to how you each think and a new outlook and respect for what the other likes/dislikes. Join something together, that neither of you have done in the past but would like to give it a whirl, a fresh, healthy competition also brings new life into the old life. Remember, variety is the spice of life, you give 100% of yourself at all times and from the ground up. The three c's too, consideration, compassion and caring in all that you do....I know it will be tought but you wont know if it will work unless you try to fix it..Good luck.

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16y ago
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7y ago

First off, you need to forgive and forget. Or if you're the cheater you need to give your partner time to heal. To forgive someone is like carrying a heavy stone and then dropping it. But, if you don't forget at the same time, you pick that stone back up to remind the partner what they did later on in the future relationship when problems occur. The past needs to be dead for the both of you. If you cheated you need to be a new person that will never go back to being the old again. You should change for you. If you got cheated on, you need to heal and believe that the past is dead and the future relationship is nothing like the old. Communication, faith, love and understanding.

Answer2: "Two are better than one," states The Bible. Why? "Because they have a good reward for their hard work. For if one of them should fall, the other can raise his partner up." (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10) That principle is especially true when you are working hard to rebuild trust.

Together, you and your mate can make a stand against the mistrust that has infected your relationship. However, you both need to be committed to saving the marriage. If you try to cope individually, you may be setting yourself up for more problems. You need to view each other as partners. Resolve to work as a team to restore trust in your marriage.

Ask each other what actions are likely to help rebuild trust. List them, and then put them into practice. Also, add to your routine some activities that you can enjoy together.

If you are the betrayed mate, allow yourself time to forgive fully. At first, you may feel that isolating yourself emotionally from your spouse is the safest course. However, doing so indefinitely will not help you to rebuild trust in your mate. To heal the breach, forgive your mate and express that forgiveness by sharing your intimate thoughts and feelings with your spouse. Also encourage your mate to share his or her joys and concerns. Do not nurture bitterness. Work to overcome it. (Ephesians 4:32 "Become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave you.")

Mutual trust is vital to marital happiness, if that is missing, there is hard work to do. Lies, half-truths, and even silence undermine trust. So you need to speak openly and honestly with each other.

You should (1) be honest with each other; (2) work as a team; (3) replace old habits with new ones; and (4) know when to let go of resentment, seeking to heal the breach.-

Eventually, when both of you are satisfied that the necessary changes in your relationship have been made, you will gain a sense of security. Then, instead of giving constant attention to merely saving your marriage, you can focus together on other goals. Even so, schedule regular periods of time to evaluate your progress. Do not become complacent. Deal with minor setbacks, and confirm your commitment to each other.-Galatians 6:9 "So let us not give up in doing what is fine, for in due time we will reap if we do not tire out."

TRY THIS: Instead of trying to get your marriage back to the way it was, think of yourselves as building a new and stronger relationship.

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16y ago

I guess you just forgive everything ad that's happened since you started the relationship and start again with an open mind and an open heart.

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