Mental Health
Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

How do you stop him from being emotionally abusive?


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2005-09-05 19:08:30
2005-09-05 19:08:30

You can't stop someone from acting in the way they do unless they really want too. You have one option, and that's to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you have tried your very best with this person and if you have some of the blame to account for as well. After all, it can take two. If this mate of yours is just miserable and verbally abusive to you then there could be many reasons: Depression (if they are on medications please look them up on and read about the side effects as some drugs can change a person's personality.) This person grew up in an unstable environment when younger. Some people are just mean to the bone. If it's possible you can sit with this person and say both of you need help (never threaten this person because it's possible they could become violent towards you) and always include yourself in the equation of the problem so they don't feel you are picking on them. Suggest getting counseling, but I will warn you that many men feel they don't need the counseling at all and it's the woman. Some men have a tendency to feel it's a weakness if they have to see a therapist for help. Women are more open minded and willing to go for any help needed. If your mate refuses, then it's time to hit the road. Life goes by so very fast and you sure don't want to waste one minute of it. Also, if you have children, no child should grow up in a household of constant verbal abuse. Be sure you know what verbal abuse is first. I know of few couples (that includes my husband and myself) that can't lose their cool on occasion and threw out a few nasty words to each other. The trick is, to see what has happened and apologize and then sit down and try to resolve the problem. As humans we all need to have a chance to express our feelings. Real verbal abuse is someone pounding at you over and over again, day after day. It's as damaging as physical abuse, and I would say worse in some cases because with physical abuse you see the outer body damage, but with mental abuse people often don't see the scars this can leave on a person. Abusers are weak in themselves and trust few people. They blame their mate and society for anything that goes wrong in their lives and seldom are honest within themselves. If this is the case then you are going to have to decide to just leave (when they aren't around) and don't look back. Good luck Marcy


Related Questions

No. Many times the abuser will tell you you are being abusive as a way to manipulate you into giving affection, which continues the abuse, as manipulation can be a form of abuse.

This is the way they work, they start off being nice to work there way into your heart then when they have you the way they want you they slowly work through being abusive to control you

You should definitely go. An abusive relationship is unhealthy for you both physically and emotionally. If you continue to stay with that abusive person, you will more than likely end up being attracted to more abusive people in the future. In fact some abusive relationships can lead to suicide and/or being murdered.

If you are feeling bad about the way you are treated or spoken to - and your pleas to stop this kind of behavior went unheeded - then you are being emotionally (verbally, psychologically) abused.

Why would you call someone who is "emotionally and verbally abusive" - your "friend"? Abusers cannot be friends because they lack empathy and the ability to truly love someone else or relate to others!

I'm not sure if it's a full-blown emotional abusive relationship, or even on the road to becoming that way, but I do feel taken advantage of him at times.

If your husband is verbally and emotionally abusive, you can break the negative cycle by seeking the services of a family counselor or filing for divorce.

An emotionally abusive man (or woman) is not capable of true, pure love. The person does this to you because he or she lacks self esteem, as hard as that may seem to understand. Saying he doesn't "love" you anymore is another way for him to emotionally and mentally abuse you.

Being emotionally abusive has a lot of factors and reasons and history. Maybe when they were young, they were also abused by their parents or someone they love. So sometimes it's just a result of a bad past or childhood or experience. Loving isn't really a question here. Love will always be there. It's just a matter of misconception.

Probably. As long as being abusive "works" for him (lets him get on with his normal life) there's really no strong reason for him to stop.

It is possible, but in many cases this takes a lot more time and energy to say that you will stop. Usually most abusive people will not admit that they're being abusive, some people do. When you're abusive you may try to stop, and then it will just appear again, that you've done an abusive help. To ensure that a man is not abusive anymore, you should go see some kind of person for help.

The Father is the Sons role model. Father teaches the Son how to treat woman/men/children and how to be a man. If the Father is emotionally abusive, the Son will more than likely grow up to be an abuser aswell.

Without SERIOUS psychiatric help, he hasn't changed. It just isn't something that happens. Once a guy shows that he's physically or emotionally abusive, he just doesn't change without serious psychotherapy.

I have an emotionally abusive mother and it's not healthy to be around her. You should try and move out, tell family and very close family friends how your mother is treating you. You can get emancipated from your mother. If you are over 18, you could try and convince your mother to get help, because anyone who is emotionally abusing anyone needs mental help.

It can. People with ADD don't usually have the social skills that most have. They say things without thinking which is sometimes hurtful. When they are children they don't do this intentionally, however, because of peoples anger toward them for such comments and often being accused of deliberately hurting people some will just say the hell with it and not care anymore or begin deliberately doing it. People with ADD are more likely to be abused and so they themselves are more likely to become abusive. We learn to treat others from the way we have been treated. ADD does not automatically cause someone to be emotionally abusive and not all ADD people are abusive but people with the disorder are more likely then average to be abusive both emotionally and physically.

Lack of trust , Core feelings of being “worthless” or “damaged, emotionally disconnected from your child. Meeting the daily needs of your child seems impossible.

Unlegally- run away from home or tell your mom to stop being abusive Legally- you can move out when you are 18. It's legal!!! Good luck.

If you do its because of TRAUMA BONDING. Get counseling to help yourself.

A borderline. Essentially a more emotionally reactive narcissist.

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