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Answered 2007-08-15 19:09:21

How you say it doesn't change: be direct but respectful of his feelings. What you say depends upon the situation. Have you been seeing him long, or have you dated only a few times and have decided you no longer wish to pursue a relationship with him? Or has he asked you out but you've declined by making excuses? Or is he simply flirting and chatting with you and hasn't even asked you out yet, and you hope he doesn't? All those situations are different and will require different ways of handling them. Clearly, the less time you've been with him, the less time you'll need to spend explaining your feelings. If he's asked you out and you've made excuses, he may not have inferred that you aren't interested. So the next time he asks you out, you must not give false reasons for declining. You must tell him frankly but politely that you don't wish to go out with him. If he hasn't asked yet but tries to chat it up with you, tell him you're very busy and don't have time to chit-chat. You can't preempt his asking you out, but if he ever does, decline frankly and politely. No false excuses for why you can't. In the cases where you've been dating, you'll have to determine the time and place for it. If it hasn't been long, just wait for the next time he calls you and let him know then. It needn't be done in person. If you've been seeing each other for a time, well, then it's more respectful if it's done in person.

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