Religion & Spirituality

How does one deal with those who believe the narcissist and not the victim?


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2011-09-12 21:52:39
2011-09-12 21:52:39

If you are living or married to one then leave. If it's a person in your family cast them out of your life. If it's a sibling they aren't worth the energy and frustration.

Narcissists are great chameleons and can turn on the charm (some more than others) and it's difficult for others around you to realize this person isn't so nice after all, and then you may have some extremely narrow-minded people believe you actually deserve thistreatment. When I hear of such things I always know there are two sides to every story and I don't label someone. If I care about the person and a window of opportunity opens I'll say something in hopes they will discuss it and at least have someone to talk too that isn't judging them. Narcissists will NEVER go for counseling for their problem because their ego is so big that everyone around them is wrong and they are always right. Narcissists are perfectionists, controllers, egotistical and sometimes can become physically abusive if they don't get their own way. Most are happy enough to play mind games, are controlling and just make their partner feel miserable 99% of the time.

You have a choice. Live with it, tell it off or run from it!

Good luck


I had this problem at work. Th N was telling a co-worker lies about me that i said things about her (which i didnt) and basically had her hating my guts. I did express my opinions about him in a vauge way and she wouldn't believe me .. at first. He gave me the silent treatment (for some percieved rejection) and spent HOURS in her office gossiping and talking and presumably saying lies about me.

I wanted to confront her so bad, and explain what a liar he was but decided to wait it out and let her see for heself. This coworker is an intelligent, perceptive christian woman and I knew she would come to realize his true nature and despise this vampire. Sure enough she did. Now NO ONE at work trusts him and i have befriended this same co-worker that he once tried to turn against me.

We compare notes and have armed ourselves to protect agains the N's games. Turns out she is very educated about all kinds of personality disorders. Her mother is a pshycologist. She herself reads others foibles and deceptions with startling accuracy. I have had experience with another N years ago and studied the subject at length. We educate one anohter and learn alot how to deal with this situation. Although we each choose to deal with it in different ways. She acts professional, polite and friendly as if nothing is amiss. I just ignore him completely as if he doesnt exist. Though it maks him uneasy we are getting along now. He hasn't a clue we know all about him and what makes him tick.

It should get interesting. Another new girl that is part of N's clique starts work with us very soon. She is apparently a "friend" who he says the most vapid things about behind her back. We have deceided to lie low and let her see for herself what he is like. Wait and see if she says something to the effect he stabbed her in the back (and he will) then we are there for her when she needs us.

So take heart. Things might seem hopeless. But chances are those that belive him now won't for long. They will figure him out and since you and they are human may just be your friend someday. Others see the truth eventually and will be on your side. SUpport one anohter. There is strength in numbers.

Meanwhile just lay low and have faith that the truth will come out. before your very eyes.

AnswerIn my experience, for some reason we blame the victim for letting abuse happen to them.It is just one of those things that people don't want to confront. At work, avoid discussing personalities and comparing notes, and most of all talking with him about each other. Believe me, this can quickly turn against you and ruin your work environment. Offer encouragement to the new worker if he makes her life miserable, but say nothing otherwise.

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Be grateful they do not remember you

Wear protective gear and run!

Get as far away as possible as soon as you can!!!

Two word for dealing with her -- NO CONTACT!

One is foolish to believe that one can manipulate a narcissist in any way. While it might be possible to get your way for a while, it will surely backfire eventually and cause you a great deal more trouble than it is worth. Narcissists do not get used, they use others.

no contact is the best way,,,unless you like the abuse....

Get as far away from them as possible and never look back.

There is an excellent source for dealing with narcissists at:

Just live your own life and don't expect anything from them...if they are aggressive passive remember is not YOU is Them.....

You leave. There is NO dealing with this sort of person. And seek counseling for yourself ASAP.

You are saying narcissist ex. If he is your ex he is not cheating on you and why would you care if he is your ex. Forget about this and move on with your life. If you think that this is cheating on you - better think again and also know that this will go on and on.

I believe it's not anymore

it is not a big deal not to believe in santa, but if you dont want to upset those around you or get hasseled by those that do,you dont have to be forceful in denying his existence.i would just say that you do to your parents so they give you presents because its said that if you dont believe in him he wont come so yeah

Sometimes not at first because a narcissist likes drama and likes to be around special people in order to feel special vicariously. But if and when she becomes too much for him to deal with he will leave. A narcissist really needs submissive women. Women they can dominate and control and get "Narcissistic supply" heart they are insecure cowards!

There is every hope. Don't ever allow them to spend ANY time alone with the narcissist and protect them from their criticisms and reaffirm their self worth and value if the Narcissist gets to them. if things get bad, just stop taking the children. Their emotional, psychological and mental protection is paramount.

Yes, especially if that is how their brain "wired" itself to deal with that sort of behavior.

they deal with the structure of the mind/ they deal with the structure of the mind.they believe in introspection.

I believe she said she was from Divine, Texas.

The question is help them how? Refer them to counseling, but they don't want to be fixed, though you may want to fix them to be a 'normal' person so you can keep a relationship with them. If you are a lay person and in a relationship with a narcissist, you cannot help them. Just by the nature of your relationship and the pathology of a narcissist, things will get ugly, it will be at your expense and there will be no change in the narcissist. A good therapist will be the one to help a narcissist, but it takes a great deal of work on the part of the narcissist, a commitment to healing, only they don't see themselves as 'broken' or anything wrong with them, so an honest introspective communication with a therapist is rare. It's so hard to understand. Leaving them is best for you though and isn't that sad that that is also the way to help a narcissist, because they are sucking your goodness from you and using it to buoy themselves. So sad.

They can be so full of themselves and preoccupied with working on new supply they are optimistic about and you mean so little as an individual they can forget about whatever it was they would have been upset about. Narcissist won't try to avenge those recognised as having more power than themselves even if desiring to do so.Otherwise the Narcissist is ballistic ally vengeful towards those he can hurt, paying back a hundred fold real, perceived and imagined slights. Some revenge comes even long after some event as over time the Narcissist has spent ages stewing on something, magnifying and distorting his basis for a grudge.A great deal of any Narcissists' reactions defy logic in understanding their responses to be on the safe side presume the worst case scenarios and be ready for that.

Well since narcissist is one who is in love with themselves and ADHD people get distracted easily well the best cure for and ADHD person is for them to get more sleep so tell them they need to get more sleep or your going to put them on tons and tons of medication

No. Deal is not an adjective. Deal can be a noun, as in 'Is it a big deal what part of speech a word comes from?' or a verb, as in 'I will deal with all those who do not think so' or 'Someone should deal out some answers here.'

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