How does one deal with those who believe the narcissist and not the victim?
If you are living or married to one then leave. If it's a person in your family cast them out of your life. If it's a sibling they aren't worth the energy and frustration.
Narcissists are great chameleons and can turn on the charm (some more than others) and it's difficult for others around you to realize this person isn't so nice after all, and then you may have some extremely narrow-minded people believe you actually deserve thistreatment. When I hear of such things I always know there are two sides to every story and I don't label someone. If I care about the person and a window of opportunity opens I'll say something in hopes they will discuss it and at least have someone to talk too that isn't judging them. Narcissists will NEVER go for counseling for their problem because their ego is so big that everyone around them is wrong and they are always right. Narcissists are perfectionists, controllers, egotistical and sometimes can become physically abusive if they don't get their own way. Most are happy enough to play mind games, are controlling and just make their partner feel miserable 99% of the time.
You have a choice. Live with it, tell it off or run from it!
I had this problem at work. Th N was telling a co-worker lies about me that i said things about her (which i didnt) and basically had her hating my guts. I did express my opinions about him in a vauge way and she wouldn't believe me .. at first. He gave me the silent treatment (for some percieved rejection) and spent HOURS in her office gossiping and talking and presumably saying lies about me.
I wanted to confront her so bad, and explain what a liar he was but decided to wait it out and let her see for heself. This coworker is an intelligent, perceptive christian woman and I knew she would come to realize his true nature and despise this vampire. Sure enough she did. Now NO ONE at work trusts him and i have befriended this same co-worker that he once tried to turn against me.
We compare notes and have armed ourselves to protect agains the N's games. Turns out she is very educated about all kinds of personality disorders. Her mother is a pshycologist. She herself reads others foibles and deceptions with startling accuracy. I have had experience with another N years ago and studied the subject at length. We educate one anohter and learn alot how to deal with this situation. Although we each choose to deal with it in different ways. She acts professional, polite and friendly as if nothing is amiss. I just ignore him completely as if he doesnt exist. Though it maks him uneasy we are getting along now. He hasn't a clue we know all about him and what makes him tick.
It should get interesting. Another new girl that is part of N's clique starts work with us very soon. She is apparently a "friend" who he says the most vapid things about behind her back. We have deceided to lie low and let her see for herself what he is like. Wait and see if she says something to the effect he stabbed her in the back (and he will) then we are there for her when she needs us.
So take heart. Things might seem hopeless. But chances are those that belive him now won't for long. They will figure him out and since you and they are human may just be your friend someday. Others see the truth eventually and will be on your side. SUpport one anohter. There is strength in numbers.
Meanwhile just lay low and have faith that the truth will come out. before your very eyes.
They can be so full of themselves and preoccupied with working on new supply they are optimistic about and you mean so little as an individual they can forget about whatever it was they would have been upset about. Narcissist won't try to avenge those recognised as having more power than themselves even if desiring to do so. Otherwise the Narcissist is ballistic ally vengeful towards those he can hurt, paying back a hundred fold…
it is not a big deal not to believe in santa, but if you dont want to upset those around you or get hasseled by those that do,you dont have to be forceful in denying his existence. i would just say that you do to your parents so they give you presents because its said that if you dont believe in him he wont come so yeah
Sometimes not at first because a narcissist likes drama and likes to be around special people in order to feel special vicariously. But if and when she becomes too much for him to deal with he will leave. A narcissist really needs submissive women. Women they can dominate and control and get "Narcissistic supply" from....at heart they are insecure cowards!
Is there any hope for a narcissists' grandchildren and how can the parents of the children deal with the narcissist?
There is every hope. Don't ever allow them to spend ANY time alone with the narcissist and protect them from their criticisms and reaffirm their self worth and value if the Narcissist gets to them. if things get bad, just stop taking the children. Their emotional, psychological and mental protection is paramount.
They listen to what your experiences have been. They will ask you how you feel about it all. They also realize you have built-in rage and are struggling to regain your self-confidence and also to learn more about the workings of a narcissist so the victim has better ways of controlling their life should the narcissist come back into their lives. The counselor will eventually stabilize their patient and start to teach them tools to…
The question is help them how? Refer them to counseling, but they don't want to be fixed, though you may want to fix them to be a 'normal' person so you can keep a relationship with them. If you are a lay person and in a relationship with a narcissist, you cannot help them. Just by the nature of your relationship and the pathology of a narcissist, things will get ugly, it will be at…
If one is horrified because he just realized he was a narcissist does this contradict his own verdict of being a narcissist?
If one has narcissistic tendencies and characteristics then later in life when those are totally entrenched in one's character, even with self knowledge, my psychiatrist informs me that it is impossible to change them. She says that one has to learn strategies to deal with them. Surely, if one of the characteristics of a narcissist is to have a 'false self' then one is only creating a further 'false self' albeit with hindsight and awareness…
In most instances if you believe that you have been the victim of unlawful discrimination on the basis of race color religion?
How do you make a deal with the devil and dont tell me not to because im not a christian and if i did believe in god i would hate him?
It sounds like you don't need my help on this one. I find it difficult to believe you believe in the devil but not God, so it appears you have already decided to "make a deal" with the devil to reject the God you believe exists but hate. As far as making some sort of "I'll do this for you if you do this for me" deal with the devil, I wouldn't try it because…
Absolutely yes. They are bullies and stalkers but there is no concrete proof that I know of that they they are more sucesptible that "other" normal people to violence, they do likea mind games and can drive someone to the point of suicide and beyond with a great deal of satisfaction. FBI REPORT 50% OF ALL ABUSED WOMAN ARE BY NARCISSIST ( HOW MANT LIED TO PROTECT THEMSELVES)
How your own values in relation to hygiene might differ from those of individuals and how to deal with this?
Unfortunately, I have had to deal with two narcissists in the past four years. I have found that they become completely powerless if you do everything that has been mentioned in the previous answers (mirroring them back, raging back, keeping your comments to outsiders truthful and very short, keeping records of their communications)....plus a few more things: 1. Always remember who you are and what your values are. If you are confident about what the…
No they will just waste you time and try to apease you. I personally had wasted time & energy going to 3 different marriage counseling, after 20 years of emotional abuse, lies, spent money like no tommorow. Had an affair, and still he is the victim. Get your counselor to educate you right away & protect your children Ladies , run, run, run- Now going thru Divorce that is another horror. Plan Ahead and make…
Many people can be affected by cyberbullying. The child or teen is the directly affected victim, and their parents, friends, etc can be affected by actions that the victim takes. Cyberbullying is something that should not be happening. Victims can have suicidal thoughts, which affect them, and parents of kids who are cyberbullied have a stressful time and/or have to deal with a loss if a victim harms themselves.
Which single New Deal program do you believe was the most helpful for getting out of the Great Depression?
One of the main characteristics of a narcissist is that they have both an inflated ego, and poor self esteem. In other words, they are either believing, "I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread," or they are believing, "I'm a good for nothing POS." For the narcissist, the world will trigger either state, depending on the narcissist's beliefs and values. It sounds like the clinging happens because the narcissist you refer to is in a…