Human Behavior

How is it possible that people close to the narcissist such as his family and exes and friends call him immature but have absolutely no idea he is a narcissist or just how serious it is?


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2008-12-01 07:13:51
2008-12-01 07:13:51

== == Because they don't think the others are right. He has a defense mechanism in which he will invalidate what others are saying about him. In his mind, he is "the saint" and the others are just poor, misled followers who haven't realized just how great he is.

Hi there, Id say his friends and family or anyone for that matter - Not even himself would admit he has a problem. Simply because to him its EVERYBODY else. Family and friends may think he is immature and leave it at at, maybe with the hope he will change... They never do! My N's family would say "he's just immature in some ways" and they had no idea how cruel of a person he was and even went as far as to say he wasn't capable of that, it's not who he is. It most certainly was who he is. I think a lot of narcissist's don't come out unless they can. He reserves the treatment and can show his true colours with you. They struggle to keep the facade going so they have to act normal to some people. They get there fix usually in so called intimate relationships. He is getting his narcassisitic needs met with you therefore he doesnt have to pull alot of his games on others as much.Plus he probably lies alot and tells others you have the problem. My N's father explains that she lives in just one dimension - her own. Both parents have volunteered on their own to say she is a spoiled brat and they realize she has a problem, and they are terribly sorry for the way she has treated not only me but others, including themselves. However they have never come out and admitted that she may be a narcissist. I don't talk to them about her unskillful approach to interpersonal relationships. They come to me to "check in" but I feel it is much better to leave her friends and family out of such a discussion.


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It's normal and it's the thing to do. By staying in touch with the friends of the narcissist it still links you to the narcissist. Move on and start a new future. What friends? A true narcissist has no real loyal friends. They are known as supply. Those friends who are true to you will "self select" and will make their choice when you break up. However, if they want to maintain contact with the "narcissist" then you need to set them free. It just creates chaos in your life.

It can be possible to be friends with a narcissist but do not expect much from this person. Also expect the friendship not to be very fufilling and mostly one sided (on your part) The one thing that does help is that you already know that he/she is a narcissist so you will understand why they do or say most things. I say give it a shot but do not expect too much like a friendship where that person will always be there for you no matter what because that just will not happen. I know this from experience. GOODLUCK!

No. A narcissist can't be friends. Friends give of themselves. A narcissist will never give you anything on the level of friendship. Write this down. You will be dumped, ignored, he will start "no contact." All this for a reaction. If you react as if this bothers you, then he has placed you in the targeted position and eventually will manipulate you into giving him the main thing that he is after, some sort of supply.

absolutely none absolutely none

It is absolutely possible for someone to have romantic or sexual feelings for more than one of their friends at the same time. The best way to find out is to ask them.

Absolutely. While his friends may do some things he may not agree with, he can very possibly like his friends for several other reasons. Although it is possible that he could cheat on his mate with or without influence from his peers, it is equally as possible that he may not.

they are trying to act "cool" for their friends

It means that he is immature and that you can do better- alot better.

OF COURSE! Mines is doing that now. They'd do anything to make themselves look like the saint. That is classic narcissist behavior. You have to be pretty careful in knowing who your friends are and who the narcissist has gotten to. I hate to say it but in order to figure out what the narcissist is up to, you have to think like a narcissist. Of course that makes you look bad, like you ARE a narcissist (you've probably picked up some narcissist behaviors being around one anyway) so BE CAREFUL. My narcissist called this game "Ex Caliber" after King Arthur's sword. He said people who were pure and of good intentions could slip past his defenses. Translation: You better make yourself look better than the narcissist and dodge the mud he's flinging if you want to keep your friends!

Yes, I believe that this is true, it doesn't have to be another woman. I have recently witnessed someone that I believe is a narcissist (but not a malignant narcissist) go FROM an NS of male friends TO an NS of another woman. But the male friends were the NS for quite some time. I think the narcissist will use as an NS anyone - male or female - that satisfies his need for narcissistic supply.

yes it possible for people to have friends

Absolutely. Why not? I'm a girl, and I have guy friends.

yes, they can make you feel NOT included with family or friends. your not in their plans. When you are around his friends especially, you are looked at as if you are interupting something!

Absolutely not! Many depressed persons pretend not to be depressed so as not to upset their family and friends. Its possible to be quite good at this role playing.

Maybe he thinks his friends are rather immature and likely to say silly and embarrassing things in front of you.

absolutely not they hate you, they told me while you were asleep.

yep anything's possible

yes it is possible if you do not think all those friends uderstand you

raychelle and rachael are very best friends. they are Absolutely amazzing.. :)

Absolutely! This is one of the zodiac's best love matches!

Yeah, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!! :)

It's possible that narcissism is (at least in part) a defense mechanism against getting emotionally hurt. After all, the narcissist has no fear of rejection from his biggest fan: himself.However, calling a narcissist a coward may be stretching the point a bit too thin. Unless the self-love extends to the point where the person in question refuses to engage in social activities (for fear of damaging their looks, or their reputation, for example) chances are it's just a social quirk -- though to be fair, one of the more annoying ones for friends and family to have to deal with.

No, they are not immature for teens. My teen daughter has a lepoard one and she loves it! All of her friends wish they had one. If you want to buy one, just go to Amazon and type (Animal) hat with hand pockets

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