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I wouldn't lay bets on anyone being happy with this loser long term. While he and his wife are having marital problems it doesn't mean they're headed for a divorce anytime soon. He may categorize people in his life, as to where he has a woman for the "wife" role and a woman for the "mistress" role. Even if he were to get a divorce, this does not mean that he will want to pursue a full time relationship with the mistress; he may decide to enjoy the single life and date various women.

As far as treating the other woman well, such extramarital relationships often seem more intense because both people aren't around each other 24/7. They don't have to live together or put up full time with each other's bad habits. If the man were to get a divorce and actually still want to be with the other woman, the relationship would start to feel less idyllic and more likely be patterned on the relationship he had with his ex wife. Also, could the other woman ever fully trust that he wouldn't cheat on her?


Simply put the husband has a wide yellow streak up his back like the yellow brick road! I have no doubt he feels guilty (especially if children are involved) and he knows what he is doing is wrong. Now he is caught between two women. He doesn't even know why he gets mad at you, but, if you want to nail his hide tell him he has caused his own problems and hasn't got the guts to make a decision and remind him that if he walks out that door there is no coming back! Stand tall, strong, think of any children you may have (they sure don't need to have their parents fighting all the time) and realize there is life after a rat of a husband. I know because I had one and I'm now happily married for the 2nd time (34 years).

Remember, it takes two to argue so say what you have to say to him, but force him to make a decision. I know you must feel terrible and frightened for your future, but stand fast and realize you are stronger than you think you are. For all you know he could have been holding you back. You can lead a horse to water, but can't make them drink, so if your husband isn't going to cooperate with you have his bags packed and sitting at the front door.

There is an extremely high percentage of mistresses that are dumped shortly after a husband leaves his wife. A man that wants freedom isn't going to let his mistress hold him back. The other poster explained why a mistress is more appealing and I agree, but hey, there are lots of men out there that are equally attractive to you should you decide to become single and don't forget to tell your husband that when you're having that discussion.

2013-02-27 22:36:51
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