If men are going through a separation or divorce why do they still refer to their exes as their wives?
A Separation is not a divorce and you are still legally married. "Getting" a divorce, you are still married until the law tells you otherwise and papers are signed. I usually hear "ex wife" or "ex husband" and that just means the couple don't live together and could mean they are just separated or are getting a divorce. Some men may refer to their ex wife as "wife" out of habit.
Rights of survivorship between three or more parties must refer to property that is held as joint tenants. Joint tenancy is not affected by a divorce decree. The disposition of that property should be addressed in the negotiations and the resolution should be set forth in the separation agreement. Perhaps one party should buy the other party out.
In the event that you're considering a divorce from your partner there are a variety of sources you can refer to for information. The UK government provides all the resources and information you need online to need to file a divorce, as well as giving a breakdown on the process of what can be a difficult process.