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If you can afford it I would certainly seek out legal counsel and let them decide about the custody of the children. If he is filling the children's heads with bad things about you (and not true) then your lawyer may be able to get you total custody. It will probably be hard on the kids at first (and they may blame you as to why they can't see their dad) but in time, they will come to understand. Once they reach legal age they can visit him all they like. If both of you have custody, then perhaps you can see the children on "your home ground" and just have him drop off the kids. This way you will only have to put up with his garbage for a short time because he's on your turf. If the children are older and not minors then it's up to them individually to decide how to handle their father and not hurt you. Teenagers are brighter than you give them credit for, but unfortunately until they are at least 17 in some States they don't have control of the matter of parents splitting up. It sounds like your husband is abusive (at least verbally) so you can seek out help from any "Abused Women's Centers" that will often give you legal aid and there are programs to help you cope with such a husband as well as how to protect your children. If you can't find the "Abused Women's Center" phone # call your operator and tell them in what State, city/town you are in and they will give you the number or you can go to your "Mental Health Clinic" and they will guide you on your way to the Women's Centers. Good luck Marcy

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โˆ™ 2005-10-11 21:22:24
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Q: If you just separated with your husband of 23 years and the father of your 3 children how can your relationship with your kids survive his torment?
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