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Answered 2006-09-12 19:09:22

I don't always buy the fact that some people are labeled emotional abusers. We are all At Fault for "losing it" or yelling when we've had a bad day. That is not abusive behavior. I've done it myself on occasion, but the difference in, when you lose it you should apologize and take the blame for your behavior. If he belittled you all the time and was never there for you then this is classified as mental abuse. You threw your partner out of the house and he's taken you at your word so I don't know why you are so surprised he hasn't come back. Perhaps both of you know you just aren't meant for each other. You sound like you are having second thoughts and my instincts tell me this isn't the first time you've kicked him out, but this time he didn't come back as you anticipated. A human can only be cornered so many times and then they just get plain fed up. It's time to move on. =answer= He's probably figured out that you are on to him and he can't get anymore supply. Good for you! Stick to your guns girl. If you let 'em go and they don't come back, it ain't meant to be anyhow. Your self respect is most important. He can't mess with that!

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Even once is too many times! Abuse in a relationship, whether physical or psychological, is unacceptable at any level and to any degree. She should leave immediately and not return unless, and until, he seeks and undergoes "successful" professional counseling. To others that are not physically/mentally abused the answers seem so simple, but aren't. The abuser is crafty and takes all confident and independence away from this woman. All races, cultural backgrounds, the poor, rich, successful and average person can be caught in an abusive relationship. It has nothing to do with the victim being needy, no confidence, lack of education or lacking guts. Sometimes if there are children involved the abuser can use the children as ransom. Abusers are crafty enough to win their victim over and little by little gain control, so the victim is basically blind-sided. The victim is terrified, and where does she/he go? There are Abused Women's Centers for the victim to go (no returning home once you go there) that will protect her and her children and a counselor that will even go to court with her/him. There are also Abusive groups for men who are abused mentally/physically. The laws in the U.S. and Canada don't protect particularly women to a great degree. In British Columbia the RCMP are working closely with Domestic Abuse. The problem is, unless these women have some place to go (especially when they have children) they often will not press charges against their abuser when the police come to door if the incident was reported by a neighbor. The abuser will usually only be in jail a day or two to cool his heels, but once out the abuse is even worse. In British Columbia the RCMP have the right to arrest a man or woman who is abusive if they are suspicious and place them under arrest, hand-cuff them and put them in jail for a couple of days. Women abusers are more likely to back-off if they are arrested, but males are not likely to back-off. The laws are changing slowly. Women should go to their local Abused Women's Center and if they don't know where it is you can go to your local mental health and they will put you through to the proper channels. The cure is TO GET AWAY FROM THE ABUSER! The victim of abuse needs a lot of counseling to get on her feet. She needs to learn the tools of survival, how to spot another potential abusive mate and to learn she has more strength in herself and more confident than she has realized (because she's been brain-washed.) Once she surfaces to work there are times the abuser can stalk her or at least cause her some problems, but most don't bother and have simply moved on to find another victim. If there are children involved the abuser is more likely to make trouble (not because he/she loves the children) but knows that is the weak point with the victim. This means court and custody set down by the rules of the court system! I would respectfully disagree...the answer really is simple, and it is exactly as Marcy says, "The cure is to Get Away From the Abuser!" What's not so simple is recognizing that one is in an abusive relationship in the first place. Initially, most of us don't want to admit that what we're experiencing amounts to abuse. It's easy to see the problem as a temporary reaction, resulting from external forces such as losing one's job, etc. We're also apt to accept some of the blame for the abusive behavior ourselves and think that if we respond differently, the behavior will change. However, once the reality of an abusive relationship is recognized, either through one's own self awareness, or with the help of others, there is only one solution...and it really is simple. Get away from the abuser.


Women stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons, it is never that simple. They may believe that they can work through issues with their partner and the abuse will diminish. It is never easy to leave someone when the heart is entangled, just because there is abuse doesn't mean there is not love. There may be a fear of being 'alone', but it is not usually just that that keeps them. Victims of abuse often suffer from high levels of insecurity and low self-confidence which makes it easy for them to be convinced by the abuser that they are at fault for their abusive behaviour. So, often the woman may feel that if she changes her behaviour then the abuse will stop. It can become a cycle that becomes more and more abusive over time and leaves the woman feeling so hopeless that she begins to accept her partners abusive behaviour.Yes, and it also depends on the culture of the woman. In some culture women are not "allowed" or afraid to leave, it could be so that they don't bring shame to their family...a lot of times they stay for "the kids" not realizing that they do more harm to their children when they stay in an abusive relationship. Abusers also chose women that have issues, like insecurity thus making it easier for them to control the victim. Also, in this day in age, the victim is no longer just a woman, it can be a man, in the gay/lesbian community, transgender community. Rich or poor, educated or not, violence exists and I think the cycle can be broken if the children can be taken out of the violent situation in time so that their generation has a chance to make better choices and live different lives.


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Both, your partner fills you up with passion whenever you are around him/her. It is still an emotion because whenever he/she leaves so does your passion.


yes you can if you are still married by law......until divorced nothing either partner can do



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