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He sounds like either he's a "neat freak" and a complainer (just like the movie "The Odd Couple" where one is as neat as a pin and the other a slob) or, he's a perfectionist and everything has it's place. When someone is truly mentally abusive they are constantly putting you down by calling you stupid, crude words, telling you, you aren't good at anything and if it weren't for them you wouldn't even exist. People that nag about someone else being neat are not abusive, but just extremely neat and like things in their place. If you think he's being too picky then communicate this fact to him and if he tell you about the sponge again say something like "well, you saw it, why didn't you put it back?" Of course these are fighting words. It's just easier to be a little neater. However, everything doesn't need to be in it's place all the time and tell your husband to lighten up a little. Marcy

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โˆ™ 2006-03-16 18:43:33
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Q: If your husband treats you like a child and tells you things like not to leave the sponge in the sink is he being controlling manipulative or abusive?
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