If your love one and you were angry and didn 't speak for 5 months how to handle the guilt of not calling them and saying i love you it was your son?

Guilt is very unproductive, the best thing and the only thing to do if you love them, is to try to make ammends as humbly as possible. be honest and let love and peace be the goal. Somtimes one has to be willing to take some crap (without fireing back) for peace to be obtained in order to restore the relationship. Do your best that's all you can do.