My N's favorite line was..."you don't understand". Which made me try even harder to work HIS problems out. Of course he said that....his thinking is..."I am so unique and my problems are so unearthly and intricate that NO ONE will ever be able to figure them out, but you can keep trying to help me out because it makes me feel so superior that I have all these problems and no one can help me. I must have been personally selected by the hand of fate to live this life because I am such a UNIQUE person - and aren't I just the best martyr you have ever experienced? So let me continue to control your emotions and suck the energy and brainwaves out of you to keep me on my high bier of supremacy. That way I can continue to function in my delusion that I am omnipotent." Sad isn't it. That our best efforts were wasted on such a limited personality. However, one must think positively about some negative experiences in life...it made us stronger, more aware people with much stronger humane incentives to never use or mentally abuse ANYONE, and that life is meant to be happy! Plus, it has made me understand what a really good relationship should be between and man and a woman. God Bless, mbme Of course this person is aware. They are trying to control you! They want you to need them and believe that you aren't capable of being independent or know one great fact ... the world actually does go around without the Narcissist! If you don't leave you'll accomplish very little in your life because the Narcissist will always hold you back or make you doubt yourself.