Is it common for a family member of an abuse victim who is being abused by the same person to regard abuse books and websites that the victim reads as poisoning the victim's mind?

Answer 1

Yes it is common because you are giving the key to the locked door of freedom to the victim (if she so wishes to take it) and that doesn't sit well with the abuser. Abusers are about control, conniving, terrifying their victim, keeping them on their toes and keeping the person so brain-washed they don't know what their rights are or that there is a better life out there for them. Often a person who is badly abused is terrified of ruffling the slightest feather of the abuser. Women who are abused wake up every morning hoping that will be the morning when they can do everything right so they won't tick off their abuser. Of course anyone looking in on this scenario knows better ... the abuser likes to feel almighty powerful and he doesn't need an excuse to abuse. If this person is you who is looking up the information, then be prepared for war! Watch your back as well because some abusers are very vicious and they look upon women as "their property" and you will only end up sending danger signals to him and you will be considered the interloper. Unless these two victims of abuse are willing to seek help there is nothing you can do, with the exception of catching the abuser in the act and contacting the police. Be warned, if you should call the police you could make things worse for the victim because the abuser will blame the victim more than he will you. Good luck Marcy