Relationships

Is it common for a woman whose ex-boyfriend was 15 years older to dump him and find a man who is 3 years younger than her and decide older men are controlling?

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2005-10-22 13:10:03
2005-10-22 13:10:03

It is not necessarily the case that older men are more controlling than younger men. You will delude yourself if you think that the only controlling men are the young ones. So, don't use age as a gauge for whether or not men are controlling. If you've been with a controlling man, you will probably be able to recgonize whether or not the man you are with is controlling. Don't be paranoid, but don't allow yourself to remain in a relationship with another controlling man. Just don't think that the only controlling men are the older ones. A control-based relationship is sick, and has nothing to do with age. Only a love-based relationship will last, because it nutures. If your partner is an abusive one, he or she has to deal with his sense of insecurity, and fear. He is emotionally sick. He needs professional help. What I suspect might be "common" is for most relationships with a marked aged gap to come to an end owing to junior member of the couple evolving to a point where there is a desire to see what is beyond the "parental" relationship dynamic that they've been in. As for "controlling" relationships, I think that depends on the individual dynamics of each relationship: some may be controlling while other relationships of that kind are perhaps more of a security blanket. After living out the "daddy" relationship dynamics with a given partner, one would think that the security blanket relationship (or whatever the needs that were met) would have been worked through and a partner closer to one's own age would, in most cases, be on the cards.

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