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Yes it is very common. Your abuser has done a good job of stripping you of your dignity, self confidence and also instilled fear in you. Don't beat yourself up over this, because it normal to feel these things when abused. Abusers brain-wash their victims. That's why, when an abused woman may make a break for freedom she is only away for a short time before she is back with the abuser or, she turns around and finds another type of guy that will do the same thing to her. The abuser has done a good job making sure that she believes she can't cope out in the real world, that no one else would want her, that she can't hold down a job, etc. These are all tactics by the abuser to keep control over their victim. My dear, "you are a victim!" Please phone the "Abused Women's Center" in your area as they have great programs to get you started down the right road. They also have counseling to help you realize where your weak patterns are and hopefully you will be aware of the next guy who could be an abuser (there are signs.) These programs will give you the confidence to know you are a very special person on this earth and you deserve the best! They will help you find work, and if need be, help you with legal counsel. You will also meet other women in the same predicament you are. If you can't locate an "Abused Women's Center" then phone your local "Mental Health" and they will locate one for you. Good luck Marcy Hi Marcy: Thanks so much. I dont know whats happened but I was so madly in love with him and so scared to lose him but now in the past two days now that I see this as a cycle of him internally and not my problem, I am so turned off of him and want to end this. I am not even scared to end it as I just feel i dont like or want him anymore. I do not know how my feelings literally changed overnight...it is odd as it was not a gradual decline of love but rather I see it for what it is. I know hes intimidated of me now and that I am way too good for him and im so much younger. I think hes terribly insecure of losing me but i do not care how he feels. I have always done this with men where I really like them then out of the blue one day it fades. I guess i am taking care of me now and just want him to leave me alone. I told him hes a narcassist and master manipulator so maybe telling him those things without any fear that he would abuse me emotionally maybe that showed me im strong.

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โˆ™ 2005-10-03 20:58:00
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Q: Is it common for the victim to lose interest in the abuser after only a couple of weeks apart and then take him back and not want him anymore?
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