Is it normal behavior for a Narcissist to want to know your account numbers and handle your finances but not tell you her ATM number or what she has in the bank?

Not normal. She will fill her account from your account. == Nothing about a narcissist behavior is normal. But yes, it is typical for N's to go through all your details, account #'s, etc but not even let you know where and if they have an account of their own. They want control over your finances but not let you know anything about theirs. It's easier to control you that way. If you get to close or let him to far into your personal affairs and finances he or she WILL empty your account into theirs. The N I know basically uses his estranged mentally ill rich wife for financial resources. He would then pick up his girlfriends check with her permission yet never let her see his accounts, etc. (which were co-owned by his wife of course) He once offered to go over MY accounts the help straighten things out. I declined because he was obsessive about keeping his wallet in a safe place and wouldn't let me touch it... and some other things. It was ridiculous. Let this be a warning: IF he wont let you touch his wallet or see his bank account that is a sign he has things to hide. She doesn't have to be a narcissist to do this, but just be controlling. You work hard, so keep an eye on your money and get your own account and if married have a Joint Account!