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Answered 2009-07-03 08:59:59

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* I personally would say "Hell, no." What you need to do is find out why he cheated on you with his ex and why or how it got broken off. Communication is the most important thing that will save your marriage. Maybe there is something that you weren't doing that his ex was. Or maybe he is just using you because he knows that he can get away with it. In relationships, when the other mate does not respect you, you need to stop unwanted behavior in its tracks. Put them in check and don't be afraid to tell someone they are being inappropriate with your spouse. If you don't want to get hurt, don't be afraid of confrontation. * What d'ya know! Your ex is not quite over his previous marriage! What's so unusual here? Probably his ex-wife is not quite over him either. Or maybe, she is thinking that he wasn't quite that bad, after all. Or maybe, there is something serious going on? Whatever the reasons, it's not your fault. And whatever the circumstances, you must explore them, discuss them and try to salvage your marriage.

The first thing I would do is to ask him "why?" Maybe he can tell you why this happened. And, if he can tell you, see what can be done to straighten this out. Is it possible that he was not quite "over her"? A failure in marriage often presents personal questions. "What did I do wrong? When did the marriage start to fail? Should I have divorced my ex-wife?"

You must talk this out. Each of you must talk about your feelings. Then you must come to some agreement. Usually a "tit for tat" resolve will work. I'll do this, if you do that. You can find much more on this in Meyer's "Marriages, Shack-ups and Other Disasters" or Gottman's "Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work."

* I would make him fear for his life. This is why you don't marry someone else's partner. I would leave him so quick it would make his head spin....

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