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Relationships
Age of Consent & Underage Relationships
Teen Dating

Is it wrong for a 30-year-old man to date an 18-year-old woman if you know it's legal and you both care for each other?

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September 13, 2011 3:18AM

There is nothing wrong with dating someone 12 years older than you if you have feelings for each other, I have been married 13 years I married when I was 18 my husband was 30. The age difference has never played a negetive role in our life, but I do know from experience that through the years of 18 till now that the mind changes alot so what is exciting and new to an 18 year old will change over the years to responsibilities that a 30 year old has already figured out so you will need patience and room for growth. Good luck

Answer

I don't see why the age difference should make a difference as long as the two parties involved hold a mutual attraction for each other. Be true to your feelings about her and don't let the disapproval of outsiders influence your relationship. I wish I had taken that advice a few months ago when I was in a similar situation as you. I had the same question as you except that I am a 31-year-old female and he is an 18-year-old male. Even though he wanted me to be his girlfriend and I really really liked him alot, I let the disapproval of my parents, the fear of being considered either desperate or a cradle-robber by society, and the thought that I would be doing something "immoral" be the reasons why I kept rejecting him over and over again. I also wan't very honest with myself about how I actually felt about him. Now that he has moved on and we no longer talk on the phone, I still find myself stuck on him and wish that I had gone with my heart. So, if the two of you truly care for each other and are clear on that, then by all means, go for it. Good luck!

Answer

Since the last time that I answered this question, I've had time to think about the answer that I gave. One reason I failed to mention about why I rejected him, as difficult as that was for me to do, is that I took into consideration the fact that he still needed to grow and discover who he is. At 31 I was at a different level in life than he was and I thought that for us to have become involved romantically with one another would have unfairly caused him to grow-up too quickly, not to mention the fact that he had raging hormones. I figure if we are meant to be together, then in the future he will come back to me after he matures more, and if not, then that's life. So while legally, there is nothing wrong with the two of you being together, at least consider the maturity factor before making your final decision. Again, good luck.

to me age is just a number.I was 42 years old and I married my wife,when she was 18.she even agree that age is just a number,that age should'NT matter,and it doesn't for us.as long you love each other,care about each other,and trust one another,and you are very sure of it,then you can not go wroung.my wife and i have been married for 5 years now,and have a 2 year old son.we are still in love to this day.so I think no matter the age,it should'NT matter.go for it.